Without You
by faberryyum
Summary: Rachel and Quinn end on a questioning note. Rachel decides to run off to a theater camp to get away from Quinn drama, but could it add more to the fire? There is Faberry, Puckleberry friendship , and a bit of Pezberry. Sequel to No Matter What.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my new story, Without You. It's a first person POV of Rachel. This story is a continuation to No Matter What, but you will see more in depth to what Rachel goes through in her process to forget Quinn. Not saying I don't love Faberry, because I ship them hard, but what's a relationship with out a little drama right? Anyways I hope you enjoy! And review! (: I also wanted to take time to thank two people that read my first story and always reviewed, Celtic Quill and Peachlipstick, you guys are absolutely awesome and I hope you guys like this story as much as you liked No Matter What!**

_Morning_

It's been 3 weeks since my accident; I have this large disturbing scar on my right side that I have to hide. My dads have become a bit too over-protective, they don't let me go to my room with more than 1 cup of water. They were about to go to the extreme when they informed me my room will be in the first floor. I will not under any circumstances switch my room. This room I've had since I was little, it's mine. Taking it away would be like taking away my last name. This room is a part of me.

The first week I came back from the hospital I have received about 10 text messages from Quinn. My dad said she was trying to make sure I'm okay, but I think I'd be okay once she leaves me alone. They are still in my phone; I haven't had the courage to open them. They just sit there like unopened mail you get that's pointless and wonder why you ever get it. By the second week I received a phone call and 2 text messages, I sent the phone call straight to voicemail, and those two text messages just add to the collection of ignored messages. The third week I haven't received any, at least not yet. Since Quinn is or was the only person that texts me I don't need to have my phone with me at all times, it's sitting cozily on my bed stand.

"Rachel there's mail for you!" my daddy yelled. My first thought was 'Quinn decided to go years back and send me a letter'.

When I went downstairs my dads were gone, they probably got the mail as they headed out for work, and even during summer vacation they continue working. I walked to the counter and there was a big envelope, I assume that is the one for me since it's the only one there.

I got in! I got accepted to one of the summer programs. It's great because it's a whole month away, which will help me get over Quinn. It's moment like these where I'm happy my fathers got me a debit card. They decided to get me a debit card after my accident, they also bought me 10 volumes of Broadway show tunes. They sit proudly on my bookshelf, I always make sure they are dust-free and each page is perfectly straight. They are practically my babies right now. They were about to get me a cat but when we went to the animal shelter I wanted to take them all home and not pick just one, my daddy was not pleased. Anyways I knew I would have to get a completely new wardrobe that screamed _STAR!_ It's programs like these where kids with fabulous lifestyles go to prove their talent and fashion sense. My goal is to prove to them that even a girl from Lima, Ohio has great fashion sense.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_

_Evening_

I just came back from shopping; everything was perfect I got the cutest skirts ever. I even decided to try a shorter length. All my skirts were knee length or longer, now that I'm getting older I should try a more concupiscent look. All my skirts now reach my thigh; I also bought the cutest blouses to go along with them.

On my run to the mall I actually ran into Noah Puckerman he works at a fast food restaurant at the food court. Although I find fast food joints absolutely revolting I went inside to find out why he was at my house that day. He told me everything from when he found Quinn crying in her car to the part where Quinn cried and fell asleep on his shoulder.

A part of me will always love Quinn, but she's too confusing. One second she's kissing me and then she's with Finn Hudson. I need a person that can handle me and my diva ways. Sure she was able to handle me beforehand but what about now?

Who am I kidding? I miss her. My chest just feels empty, which turned my ambition to be on top sky rocketed. You know the feeling you get when you're sick, with the flu per se. Anyways I feel like that but on the inside of my body, I'm so tired, nothing seems to necessarily matter-well Broadway does. For now my one true love is the bright lights of New York, the home of Broadway.

Daddy's home, apparently he needs to talk to me.

-_Rachel Barbra Berry *_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2! I hope you guys enjoyed Chapter 1, sorry I didn't show much in the first chapter, for now I just wanted to express what state Rachel was in now. If it is not obvious, this is pretty much Rachel's journal. This will have a slight twist and a new character, well not technically new, but this does add a friendship into Rachel's life. Anyways just so you know the location the camp is at is real, and so is the drive in Movie Theater, the only thing that is made up is the summer program. Enjoy! And review! (: Happy 4****th**** of July!**

_Evening_

My fathers are upset with me for using my debit card without their knowledge; I simply think they are overreacting. If they didn't want me to spend money why give me the card, right? Anyways they were happy it was just clothes, they were surprised when they saw I bought a drink from a fast food restaurant. I did purchase a drink, but I filled the cup with water, no way am I risking neither my body nor my vocal chords with all that sugar. Since the summer program is just around the corner I cannot risk ruining my voice.

I know that may seem a little drastic but every day I make sure to drink 16 cups of water, I know it's just 8 but I feel like that's not enough. I also drink lukewarm water with honey and a little lemon every morning and night, I'm avoiding all sugars if not my voice gets too 'flemmy'. Other people who are not singers may find this behavior rather dramatic but any performer knows this is the best way to prepare your voice.

Next week is the first day of my summer program. I leave Sunday night by train with my two dads and I'll be there by Monday. Now hold on to your hat journal, well pages. Rachel Barbra Berry will be attending _SING! _in Sydney, Ohio.

I've heard nothing but astonishing reviews about this prestigious summer program. Another great thing is there is a drive-in movie theater located there, if I could recall it is called _Auto-vue_. I may get lucky and be able to attend maybe while they are giving a Streisand film.

I haven't checked my phone since last night, whenever I do check my phone though I hold my breath and close my eyes and my heart beat quickens and I finally check, I just vowed to myself that I will check my phone with ease…. Even if Quinn Fabray does send me a message.

_I, Rachel Barbra Berry*, vow to never have a minor panic attack before I check my phone._

Don't worry journal I even put up my right hand, I never did fully understand why you need to raise your right hand; I will look into it though. Oh, wait I forgot to add one more thing.

_Even if I think Quinn send me a text message or a missed call._

There, that will do it. Anyways, I need to continue my vigorous exercise routine early in the morning so this Broadway star will head to bed early. Good Night.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_

_Morning_

Today I was confronted with something, well not something… SOMEONE! I may be overreacting but this someone just wasn't anyone. Anyways I was just done with my exercise routine and I was ready to jump into the shower and I saw I had no shampoo, now I always buy 2 bottles when I go shopping just in case this happens so I look under my sink and I realize I don't have anymore. This rarely happens I must have been too distracted this week to even buy some. I decide to go shopping unlikely like myself, it's a standard procedure anyone in the biz world does. I went into my closet found a plain t-shirt and jeans a hat and a pair of fake glasses I had to use on a play in middle school once. I personally hate this look, but today I didn't want anyone to recognize me…. Especially because of how sweaty I am. Anyways I go out and I walk to the drugstore by my house, I decide to buy other things I'll need like toothpaste, a new tooth brush, deodorant, lotion (organic of course!), and travel size shampoos and conditioners. I even saw a cute little shower bag, it was pink and it had gold stitching, it was perfect for me. Anyways it's pretty early in the morning there were about 3 people in the store, a worker, a mystery guy, and I. I was just about done getting everything on my mental checklist until I realized (and I am fully aware this is completely confidant even with you journal) I'll be there a month and I need to buy my… let's just say my feminine care needs. Anyways I walk through the aisles and I realize the aisle the feminine products are located is the aisle the mystery man is standing in, now I am in no way judging but it was rather strange.

Anyways I walk into the aisle, find the product I need and I'm about to leave until I hear this.

"Hey! You're a girl, what's the difference between a…" he has to look down to check what he's talking about, typical guy thing to do, "… pant-"

"Noah?" I interrupt him mid-sentence because not only will it be strange for me to hear him say pantiliner, but it was even stranger he was buying it.

"Yeah…." He studies me, I don't think he recognizes me, point for berry. "….oh crap, Rachel?"

Never mind, point retracted…. Maybe I should add an accent with this look.

"Yes, Noah. So do you care to explain what you need help in?" I have no idea why I sound forceful, but I have a gut feeling I will not like what I'm going to hear.

"Well I was sent here to buy uhh these..." he said pointing at the merchandise "Quinn was too busy to buy some so she asked me to"

I couldn't help but laugh, why would Quinn send Noah Puckerman to buy her feminine products? Once I realize the answer to the question my laughing stops immediately.

"Oh my, is she living with you?" I was trying to sound straightforward with this question; instead I fumbled it and sounded breathless.

"Rachel…. It is Rachel right?" Noah said it sounding sympathetically like he was the bearer of bad news. I simply nod.

"Think you can help me with this and I'll tell you everything" he said, he had this look in his eye that told me he really needed to talk.

Not only was I disoriented by his sudden generosity, I was also afraid of what he had to say. What if he said Quinn was living with him because they are now in a loving relationship and are expecting to get married and have 3 wonderful babies together…. How was I supposed to know?

I slow myself in my tracks, it could be anything. I try to remember everything she's told me when we did share conversations. It's the summer before our sophomore year, I got it! Fran is going to college this fall, I know she's going out of state. Quinn's parents probably took her to her college and Quinn decided to stay and she needs these products and the other person she trusts more than me is Noah Puckerman. It makes some sense.

"Sure, I'll help you…" I point to the pink box with a green figure of a girl dancing on it "She gets that one with these" I continued pointing to the purple package, or bag? I could never figure out what that packaging was… a box? Or a bag? Oh well, that's another tale to tell.

"Why do you babes need so much?" he said grabbing the items and putting them into his basket, I couldn't help but peak to see what he was buying.

HE HAS CONDOMS!

IS HE GOING TO USE THEM WITH QUINN?

I am screaming on the inside and jealousy just floods through every inch of my body, I am ready to drop kick Noah Puckerman, even if he is a whole foot taller than me.

I remind myself to calm down because not only is he going to tell me about Quinn, but he most likely trusts me enough to tell me, I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for what he has to say.

Together we walk to the front of the store to the cashier, he lets me go first, I suppose in his own way Noah is chivalrous. He probably says this before he seduces a girl "Hey baby, I know we're about to hook up right now so I want you to lay down and tell me when you get uncomfortable, I promise I'll stop. Uh yeah! Babes man" yeah…. That was my terrible attempt of Noah Puckerman.

I pay the cashier and wait for Noah, for some reason I can't call him 'Puck'. I see a different light in him, I feel like 'Puck' is like a mask for him. He's probably had a tough time when he was younger and is too vulnerable to let anybody in so that is why he has walls up and won't be in a legitimate relationship. I don't think he's even had a relationship, just relations. I know that because Quinn's actual name is Lucy, she never told me the real reason why she decided to go by Quinn, but I assume it's also a mask.

As Noah and I walk out he points to this monstrosity of a truck. Does he expect me, Rachel Berry, to go into that car that you may see in a Monster Truck rally? Before he could ask me to go into his car, I have to interject quickly.

"There's a park right around the corner, think we can talk there." I look at his car "I feel like I may die in there"

Noah laughs but nods "Yeah babe"

He really has to stop calling me babe…

We walk to the park; it's a mundane day today. The weather is nice and the sun is out and no clouds are visible, but it is way to plain. I feel this is all too routine now, bluntly enough. I am more than excited to be leaving this place for a month.

We finally reach the park, Noah has looked more than thoughtful the whole walk over, I am not surprised that he is being straightforward.

"Have you checked your phone?" he says it, rather coldly.

I nod, he did intimidate me and I knew if I said anything my voice would sound squeaky and weak.

"Have you checked your text messages?" he again asks coldly.

I let out the breath I didn't even realize I was holding "No" I had to look down at my feet, I can see he cares about Quinn and I'm scared he may be angry on why I'm ignoring the messages.

"Why?" he said. This time he doesn't sound so cold.

"I'm not ready. I love her, I miss her. I know I need to get over her, so reading those text messages won't help me" I said quickly. I didn't want to ramble so I halted myself there.

"Quinn has been going through a lot lately. The truth is…" he sighs "I send you those messages."

"Why?"

Why would he send those messages, what if she's sick?

"Quinn has been staying with me for the past week" he looks at my face as if he's reading my expression "We're not a relationship Rachel. Anyways her parents have been fighting a lot lately…. Something about Russell having an affair. Quinn didn't want to be there so she pretty much told her mom she's going to stay with Santana, I told Quinn the first night she came to go back home, she's like a little sister to me and I would want her to face her problems head on, not like me" he looked at his shoe as if remembering something, he then shakes it off.

"How's Quinn now?" I say quickly before he could continue.

He lets out a sad chuckle "You know Quinn. Too stubborn to admit she's not okay"

I also let out a sad giggle, that's Quinn alright.

He quickly continues "We get to her home that very night and both of her parents were gone, we know they went to two different places because Russell's and Judy's car were both gone. Quinn tried to call them, but none answered. I knew I had to take her to my house, she can't stay in that house all by herself."

I nodded knowing where he came from, if that happened with me. I'd make sure Quinn would stay with me; there is no way she will stay in that home with all that bad mojo. Not that I believe in that, I'm Jewish.

"So, how does that explain why you send me those messages?"

Noah begins to shake his head, "She's been talking about you non-stop. She's always asking if you're healing fine" he said looking at my right side. "She got drunk one night and decided to call you, I grabbed the phone you know. Because when you're drunk you say crazy crap. We wrestled for her phone and she called you one more time and I quickly hung up and hid her phone"

That explains why I had the calls… wait I only had one missed call, but still why did he send those messages. I was about to ask why he but it was as if he read my mind.

"Just look at the messages" and at that he shrugged and walked back to the drugstore parking lot.

Honestly I was mortified to check my phone on my own, I'll wait until I go back home.

Anyways journal, I still haven't checked the messages. I can't, not yet. I'm not ready. Anyways I need to finally step into my long awaited shower.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_


	3. Chapter 3

**Drama! I really hope you like this chapter, right now it's my favorite because it shows a more vulnerable Rachel. Enjoy! And don't forget to Review! (:**

_Evening_

My daddys came home early today; I really wondered what that was about. I ended up realizing that it was their anniversary. How could I forget? Anyways as a present for them from me I sang them a wonderful song. This song may be cliché but I sang 'My Heart Will Go On' by Celine Dion. I knew I hit every note right, I've known that song as long as I've known 'Don't Rain On My Parade', and that song is of course by the AMAZING Barbra Streisand. Anyways, it is date night for them so I am all alone. It's nothing new really, I'm alone a lot. When I'm alone I'm actually happy, it makes me realize I'm not as shallow as the other students that attend my school. I don't need friends to prove I'm a good person. My daddys have always told me I will make friends in the right time.

Every time I'm alone I always decide to make myself food, today I just ordered take-out. I feel drained today, I'm not exactly sure why. After I make my order to my favorite vegan restaurant I pop in 'Funny Lady'. This is another Streisand film, it wasn't as popular as 'Funny Girl' though. But today I feel like I relate to this film a lot, mainly because it shows how Fanny (Streisand) moves on without Mr. Arnstein. I'm halfway through the film when my food arrives, I pay the delivery boy, but for some reason I don't feel hungry anymore. I'm not even in the mood to finish the film.

I now know what I have to do, I have to check my phone. Again, I don't realize what comes over me but as I walk up each step my feet feel like they each way a ton and I'm using my very last strength to move them. Everything looks different right now, my hallway isn't just a hallway anymore, it's the space between me and my bedroom and in my bedroom lies my phone that has the messages. I had to use all my will power to not turn around and run down the steps and hide myself in the couch. I finally am standing in front of my bedroom; I open the door as if I'm in a horror film. I'd prefer being in a horror film this very second.

I quickly jump to the sound of my phone beginning to vibrate, I assume it's my dads calling so I walk over to my phone quickly. Oh no, it was not my dads… it was Quinn. I had to remind myself it was probably Noah sending me those messages.

I finally gather the courage to read that message.

_Quinn/ Noah: Rachel, it's Puck. Can you come over. Quinn just left but she left her phone._

Why would he want me to come over? Maybe there is more to tell. I quickly respond.

_Me: Sure, but why would you text me through Quinn's phone? Can't you just get my number into your phone?_

I waited for the response, the response was quick. I had a weird gut feeling.

_Quinn/Noah: Just come over we need to talk._

Now that message raised my suspicions, but if it is Noah, it must be urgent. I quickly grab my coat and put on my shoes. I even decide to bring my take-out food, I bought too much anyways. My phone vibrates again and he sends me his address and directions to his house.

I walk towards his house, too distract myself from having a meltdown I count the steps it took me to reach his home. It took me 2,546 steps. I knock about 3 times and Noah opens the door. My suspicions were right, he looked surprised to see me standing there.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, not to sound mean, he was just confused. I would be too.

"Didn't you…" I finally realize what is going on and sigh "You didn't text me through Quinn's phone didn't you?"

He looked even more confuse but shook his head, he looked me up and down then said, "She's not here right now though. She went out with Santana, I think she's staying over there tonight. Come in." he opened the door wider and motioned me to come in.

I don't know what was possessed over me but my legs began to move all on their own and I walked in. I handed him the take-out and quickly say, "It's vegan".

He took the bag and led me into his living room. He apologized for the way it looked. I think that is the last thing that would cross my mind, I just need to piece this all together. He puts the take-out on the couch and walks into his kitchen and brings out two little tables for each of us to eat from. We begin to separate the food and I explain to him what each item was. We ended up having a nice conversation, like friends do. We laughed and poked at each other and discussed summer plans. In the middle of our conversation we heard a knock at the door. We both turned to the clock, it was past 11. He looked puzzled but got up to open the door, sadly I couldn't see who it was until I heard Noah say, "You can't be here, especially not like that. You reek". After I heard the door open wider and Noah gasp, I hear heavy footsteps and to my horror I see a very drunk Quinn staring straight at me.

She looks horrid, her hair is a mess. Her mascara is smeared as if she's been crying. Her face looks green and she needs to grab the wall for support. I look into her eyes and she looks empty, sad, alone. Did I cause that?

Quinn looks directly at me and then turns and she is about to fall and Noah quickly catches her. She seems like she is about to vomit. To my understanding I think she was because Noah quickly apologized and led her down the hall. She was arguing the whole way there.

I have no idea why I didn't just get up and get out of his house, but something made me stay.

Noah came back, he politely asked me if it was okay if Quinn came into the room. I agreed. Again I don't have a clue what came over me. I guess it was because of Noah's chivalrousness.

A somewhat sober Quinn entered the living room, she didn't sit on the couch, she stood on the opposite side and leaned against the wall. We both stared at each other, as if we were strangers, or like one was challenging the other.

Noah quickly intervened, I knew in no way did he want to be part of a Berry/Fabray smack down.

"Alright you two" he said switching glances between us two "You gotta talk"

Quinn spoke quickly, "Fine, I'll start", she had this death glare on, we'll just call it her bitch stare, "How do you feel? You know…." He face suddenly softened "because of the accident"

I don't respond quickly, or have my confident Broadway Star voice, I whisper, "Fine"

I never knew I missed her this much, I miss her looking at me with loving eyes and holding me tight. I think she was able to read my mind because she quickly walked across the living room and sat next to me.

"I guess this is my queue to leave" Noah said and quickly walked out.

Quinn and I continued sharing glances, daring one another to speak. To my surprise I heard myself say, "I'm sorry about your parents".

Quinn looked at the ground, god she is beautiful. I MISS HER!

She shrugged, "You were right about my dad" she looked up at me, "And I'm sorry for what I'm about to say, but I've always known….even before you told me"

WHAT! QUINN KNEW! I feel my body heat up with anger, I feel my eyes well up with tears, I feel my cheeks turn furiously red.

"You knew? And yet you yelled at me?" I was surprised to how calm I sounded.

She nodded, "I know and I'm sorry"

I was upset, I wanted to get up and storm out. I did get up, but I didn't storm out.

"You broke up with me! You ACCUSED me of LYING!" Quinn was close to interrupting me but I quickly continued, "NO! Quinn Fabray don't you dare try to cut me off! I have a right to yell at you. **You're** the one who lied to me! You practically ripped my heart out and stomped it in my face. How dare you!"

I suddenly felt myself breathless and dizzy, Quinn reached her arm out to touch me I quickly jumped back, "Don't touch me!" I felt hot tears run down my red cheeks. I can't believe this just happened.

I notice Quinn simply sigh and wipe away one tear, "It would have been a year" she looked me in the eye, she looked like she was trying to read me.

I suddenly remember, it would have been a year. In seconds I felt hot lips on mine. Blueberry. No matter what, Quinn always tasted like blueberry. I kissed her back with every will I had. The kiss was furious, like Quinn was trying to make a statement. I didn't mind, I needed this kiss. Our kiss was filled with desire, love, passion, lust, sorrow, pain, and sadness. We both missed each other and I knew it in that moment. For once I let my brain just shut down and let my heart control my actions.

I threw Quinn onto the couch and I straddled her hips. Our hands were exploring each other, quickly and sloppily. We wanted each other; in that moment I could feel exactly what she was feeling. To my surprise my shirt came off and so did hers. All of sudden I felt her hand brush my inner thigh and my heart and body begged for the touch, but my brain yelled STOP!

I quickly pushed myself off her and ran to the other side of the living room. My head was racing, my heart was fluttering. My heart begged for her love, my body begged for her touch, my brain begged me to get the hell out of there.

Quinn quickly shot up, "I'm sorry"

I quickly grabbed my shirt and coat and ran out of Noah's home. I was just about to turn the corner when I realized I didn't even know what time it was or if my dads decided to call. I took out my phone; it was 12:30 am. To my surprise my dads haven't called. Then again it was date night. The kiss replayed in my head all the way home, again I felt tired, empty, and drained. I just wanted to lay down in my bed and go into a deep sleep. I finally reach the Berry home and I don't see my dads car so I just walk to the front door, I fumbled to get the keys out. I finally open the door. I practically dragged myself upstairs into my bedroom. I laid down but I couldn't sleep, I needed to get what just happened out of my system.

I just looked at my clock and it's 2:56 am. I've never written this late or early, I'm too tired to even bicker in my head to decide which is which. Now that I got that out of my system I'm going to bed to drift into a nice relaxing slumber, and hopefully my dreams make more sense than my reality does.

-_Rachel Barbra Berry*_


	4. Chapter 4

**More drama in this story too. Just please note that I'm not trying to make Quinn the bad guy, I'm going to make each girl make stupid mistakes of their own. And yes, there is a Puckleberry friendship coming, it's ONLY a friendship. Anyways ENJOY! and please review! **

_Morning_

It was a sleepless night, my head just wouldn't shut up. I'm not tired, but I'm not exactly fully awake. I'm in a numb state. I don't know if Quinn or Noah send me a message or called, I turned my phone off. I don't want to deal with either of them right now.

The only thing I'm looking forward to right now is _SING!_ I leave in two days, I'm hoping to lay low. I need to forget everything that happened and focus on my career.

My dads aren't even awake, they came home pretty late, 30 minutes after I was done writing I heard them come in. I fixed myself my breakfast, but I couldn't even eat. I feel sick to my stomach. All the images from yesterday replayed in my head. They just keep popping into my mind when I try to distract myself. This very second I'm sitting in my room, I'm trying to absorb the cheerfulness of my pink walls and fluffy carpet. It's a lot harder than I thought, I'm still deep into my funk.

I've decided I'm going to set up my outfits for SING_! _that is a great distraction. I go into my neatly organized closet, I swear you'd think I was OCD, and pull out my luggage set my dads got me two years ago on my birthday. They're pink with white Polk-a-dots, it's a set of four, I decide I'm going to need the two biggest and the small over the shoulder one.

In my closet I pull out my new skirts, they smell so fresh, so new. They all still have the price tags on them, I will leave them like that until I wear them. I begin to lay out each skirt and I go back into my closet and pick the brand-new blouses I also bought. I first set those into outfits, I match my red blouse with my black skirt with red stitching, I match my yellow shirt (that reminds me of the sun) with a light grey skirt. I know it sounds like they wouldn't match but they complement each other perfectly. I match the rest of the blouses with the other skirts, so far I have 14 outfits. I'm going to need more than that. I take out all my old skirts, they are way too long for my taste now. I've decided I'm going to sew them, thankfully my wonderful dads bought me a sewing machine, I never knew exactly why, I guess for costuming.

I was deep into my work when I heard the doorbell ring, I assume my dads are going to get it so I shrug it off and continue working on my grey and black plaid skirt, I've decided with the extra fabric that I have to cut off I'm going to use it to plead the skirt. The doorbell rings again, I shrug it off. It begins to ring furiously and I hear a manly voice. "Rachel I know you're here!"

I quickly jumped off my seat and ran to the door, I open it quickly and Noah just walks in without in an invitation. He looks a bit shaken up, he looks very tired too. I knew I had to console him, I gently place my hand on top of his and bring my other hand to his free hand. I bring his hands to my lips and begin to "Shhhh" into them, Noah visibly relaxed.

"Now that you are calm Noah, why are you here?" I say as sweetly as I can.

He looks like he's trying to come up with a response and again he gets that worried look on his face. Now I'm beginning to worry so I grab his arm and pull him into the living room and sit him down on the couch. I remain holding his hand until I know he's ready to respond.

"Promise you won't be mad Rach?" he says looking at his thumb.

I find it sweet that he called me Rach, but Quinn also called me that. I sigh without even realizing it and I see that it scares him so I run my thumb over his hand.

"Noah, I promise I won't be mad" I say honestly, I mean unless it has to do with Quinn. Which I'm starting to get the strong feeling it is.

Puck sighs and turns his whole body towards mine, he begins to lean in closer. I look in his eyes, he's extremely vulnerable right now. He takes my free hand with his and sighs again. He looks at my hands and then up to my face and back. I see him begin to relax again, I know it's my time to talk.

"Noah, you can tell me anything" I have the urge to put my hand on his cheek and make him look into my eyes so he can see how sincere I am, but he's holding my hands.

Suddenly I get the urge to kiss him, I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it's because I feel so alone and empty. He brings his head up and I see he feels the same way…. Not the kissing, the alone part.

I nod encouraging him to talk, he nods in response and begins to open his mouth to speak.

"Rach, I'm very sorry" he says quietly.

"What happened between me and Qui-"

"No! It's about what happened between you and Quinn. It's about what happened between _me_ and Quinn." he interrupts only shouting the first word and whispering the rest.

I am instantly perplexed by his vulnerability.

"What happened?" I hear myself mumble out.

"I'm sorry Rachel, I really am" he says in a plea.

"What happened!" I realized I'm shouting and my body begins to heat up.

"Please calm down and let me explain" he begs.

I nod, I shouldn't be mad. I don't even know what he is going to say. I begin to take deep breaths in and out. I remember all my years in acting and I learned how to control my emotions very well.

"Okay. Just let it out" I say.

"Okay" he sighs "After you left running out of my house I saw Quinn on the couch crying and mumbling to herself. I also felt her shaking, I thought it was because she was still drunk but nahh" he says shaking his head "I went to her to ask her if she was okay, but she looked at me, with this look on her face" he looks at me "kind of how you looked when we talked about Quinn. Both of your eyes are empty. She began to ask me if she was important, lovable, beautiful. You know things that girls worry about" I nod knowing exactly what he's talking about. "I tried to comfort her, I took her into my room and made that hot chocolate I made her the first night she ever came to my house. She began crying again and rambled on about how much of a bitch she is for what she did to you. I began to hold her tight and then we started kissing"

I felt my like the wind got knocked out of me. I began to have cold sweats, I began hyperventilating. I felt my eyes swell up with tears and I felt my heart drop to my stomach.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. There's more" he said sympathetically. I knew he was able to feel how cold my hands got.

"What else happened?" I manage to say without letting the tears spill.

"We did it" he whispered "But it was meaningless and shameful. Both of us are just alone right now. It's the emptiness that drove us to do it, once we were done she cried again because she said the only time she's ever done it was with you and she felt the love and with me she felt nothing"

I begin to cry, I couldn't contain it anymore. I know what he means because before this started I wanted to kiss him. I felt Pucks arms fall around my body and he continues whispering "I'm sorry"

I feel my head tilt up and I kiss him on the cheek, I pull away from his hug and begin to say "It's okay" I begin to compose myself "It's not your fault, nor is it Quinn's. I know she was drunk, and I do know what it's like to be alone." I giggle to myself "I even got the urge to kiss you" I hear myself admit, but I quickly shake my head and continue, "Thank you Noah. I'm glad you told me but uhh.." I'm not sure if I should ask this, but I do anyway "Where's Quinn now?"

"In the morning I called Santana to pick her up. I packed all of Quinn's things in a bag and I asked her to leave. She was very surprised especially since she doesn't remember any of last night. I asked her what she remembered and she said she can only remember the argument and" he looks at me with a testing eye "the make-out session between you two."

I felt a bit better, at least she remembered me but I saw Puck's face and he looked disappointed.

"What do I do Rach? She doesn't know we did it. Should I tell her?"

Honestly, I wish I knew the answer, but I see Noah's pleading eyes I try my best to come up with one and all I could do is open my mouth and stutter.

I finally say, "Noah. This is up to you. I can't make this decision for you. But if I could I would say don't tell her"

I realize I'm saying this out of jealousy. I decide to change the subject quickly, "Why don't I try some of that hot chocolate you were talking about" I manage to say with a smile.

Noah knew I didn't want to talk about this anymore, but I know he didn't want to either. He nods and I get up and he follows me into my kitchen. He begins to teach me how to make his hot chocolate, luckily though I had vegan hot chocolate and fudge. He laughed at my possessions but decided he wanted to try it that way. He taught me how to make it and I tried some, I now realized how it could calm him down. When I drank it I felt warm thick chocolate run down my throat and it warmed up my whole body, I felt my taste buds dance. It was the best thing I've ever tried, but I don't think Noah felt the same because he had a hard time swallowing and when he finally did he managed to say "I choose real chocolate" I simply laugh and point to the cupboard at the far left, "Real chocolate is in there"

I saw his eyes sparkle and I couldn't help but laugh, which was then overwhelmed by coughing. I tried to swallow the hot chocolate but my body just wouldn't cooperate. After a grueling session of 15 seconds of me trying to stop the coughing I laugh again, but this was a bit too choked for my taste.

Now Noah was the one laughing. I throw a scowl his way which made him laugh even more.

"Berry you're just as scary as a pink teddy bear holding a gun" he said mockingly.

"Oh you have no idea what I am capable of Puckerman" I said challenging him.

"Try me"

I walk to the cupboard on my right side and grab a sack of flour and tried to pour it over Noah's head but my arms can only reach so far. I ended up getting him chest down. He grabs the sack and begins to pour it towards me and thus began our mini war. We were laughing and grabbing each other and in seconds I hear my shirt rise up out of my skirt and Noah says "Oh shit Rach"

I follow his eyes and see my very exposed scar on my right side; I quickly pull my shirt down and try not to blush. I am very embarrassed of that scar.

I begin to open my mouth but Noah quickly says "That is so BAD-ASS!"

I couldn't help but laugh, I guess it is very 'bad-ass'.

After he helped me clean up the mess and he leaves. Before leaving he says "You know Rach, you're pretty cool. I think Imma call you Jewbabe"

"Alright" I say "I think I'm going to call you…" I actually have to think but then I figure it out "Jewbro"

He begins to laugh and walks out. I watch him as he walks to his monstrosity of a truck. He turns and waves and I wave back and I walk inside. I head up into my room and continue working on my outfits. I finally packed them all up and lay down on my bed, I remembered that he told me Quinn's eyes were alone and empty. I impulsively grab my phone and dial her number, by the first ring I heard the voice of the automated voicemail. I sigh and hang up.

I decide to grab my things and just go out, anywhere. I can't be at home right now. I'll write tonight. Promise.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry* _


	5. Chapter 5

**I hope you guy's enjoy this Chapter (: Please be sure to review, I need input!**

_Evening_

Today I went out. I can't believe what happened. I sometimes just wish I had a normal life and didn't have to deal with any of this. Oh well, I'm sure the climb to the top is nowhere near easy.

After I left I walked to the drugstore by my house to buy a couple magazines as I was walking out I heard someone say, "Hobbit! Get your ass over here!"

I turn to look at Santana by Quinn's red beetle. As I walked to Santana I look in the car and check if Quinn is there.

"Quinn isn't here. I told her I'd pick up pain relievers" Santana said.

"O-okay, but what do you want with me?" I mumble out as I cautiously walk towards her.

"Just get in the car and wait!" she scowled while throwing the keys at me.

I flinch, Santana does kind of scare me in a way. I could have leveled up to her and yelled back; I know I can be just as scary, but my claws come out only when necessary. I don't want to walk around angry at the world the rest of my life. I get the keys and unlock the beetle and sit inside. I begin to think how sad Santana must be to walk around like that, scowling and huffing and puffing.

I see Santana exit the store and I realize when she isn't in her uniform she is pretty hot. I would try to find other words to explain her physique but it is Santana the only words that come to mind is "Hot", both Noah and I agreed.

"Alright Hobbit let's get one thing clear" she said as soon as she opened the door.

"Way to get straight to point" I hear myself say.

Santana rolls her eyes "It's about Quinn"

Now it's my turn to roll my eyes, does everything revolve around her? What about me? I'm hurt just as much as she is.

Santana can see she won't get a response so she continues "She came over last night and we raided my parent's and her parent's liquor cabinet. But, I only drank a little bit. That girl was chugging them down like it was water. She begged me to drop her off at Puck's. I thought she needed to get it in you know?" I nod, but truth is I don't know.

"So you dropped her off at Puckerman's house, did she tell you what happened next?" I ask hoping she doesn't know.

Santana shakes her head, "Nuh uh, I asked when I picked her up this morning and all she said was 'Rachel' I swear shrimp if you did anything to hurt her I'll have your head on a stick in seconds" Santana said looking at me with furious eyes.

"It's not like that Satan" I said challenging her. Maybe it is good to let out my anger, but I quickly change my mind. I don't want to be like Santana.

"Then?" she rolled her eyes.

I sigh contemplating on whether I should tell her or not, I know I shouldn't but something in me is making me tell her. I know I should talk about this.

"I was at Noah's home, I showed up because I received a message through Quinn's phone saying to go to Noah's home. I thought it was him sending me those messages because Quinn is residing with him. I show up and he was surprised to see me but he welcomed me in. We were eating and talking and Quinn showed up drunk, I think she threw up because Noah kept her away from me for like 15 minutes. He asked for my permission to see if I wanted to be with Quinn, I agreed." I realize I'm looking at Santana's legs and I sound breathless and weak.

"Quinn came and we talked and we argued and then we made out" I say as quick as I can. I felt if I said it quick it's like ripping off a bandage, quick and painless.

I finally look up to Santana's face and she scoffed, "I have no idea what she sees in you midget" she said putting the key in the ignition.

"Wh-what are you doing?" I stutter out. Why do I keep stuttering today?

"We're going to go see Quinn whether you like it or not, we need to clean up this mess" she said driving the car out of the parking lot.

I began to feel my hands get sweaty, I felt my body get hot I heard myself hyperventilating and my throat began to close up.

"Oh shit hobbit, do you need to go to the hospital?" Santana said stopping the car.

I gulp and shake my head, I know I need to face Quinn when she's sober. "I'm sorry, yes I'm fine. Let's just go" I say.

Santana nods, she continues driving again. I realize we are going to Quinn's house. I guess both girls decided to stay there.

Santana drives the car into the driveway and again I don't see either of her parent's cars. Santana parks the car and turns and looks at me, her eyes show empathy. She reaches out to touch my hand, by my surprise I don't flinch.

"Look Rachel" Oh my god! She's being nice. "I know what it's like to be hurt from the one person you love" she looks down and she begins to sound weak "You need to fix this" I nod knowing what she's talking about. The one thing I don't know is who she loves.

"I'm ready" I say, I know I am.

Santana nodded and got up and she opened the car door, I begin to open mine but Santana flung it open. She held out her hand to help me out and I took it, but she quickly pulled me into a hug. I was surprised but I hugged back.

"I know you need this" she whispered and I nod. We pull out of the hug and she eyes me carefully.

"Don' tell anyone I was nice to you" she said sternly. I nod.

We walk towards Quinn's front door and Santana opened it and shouts "Yo! Quinn got your meds!"

I heard a slight mumble from the living room, Santana turns to look at me and motions me to stay there.

"Blondie I got your meds" she said walking to the living room.

"Who were you talking to?" Quinn groaned out.

"Why don't you get off your hungover ass and check" Santana said harshly.

In seconds I was face-to-face with Quinn. We just stared at each other. Then Quinn turns to Santana and shouts "Why the fuck would you bring _her_ here!"

She looked at me with "angry" eyes when she said her, I know she was putting on an act.

"Save it Quinn I know you're gay for Berry, now fix it!" Santana scoffed.

Quinn's face softened. She mouths "I'm sorry" I simply nod. What else can I say?

Quinn puts out her hand "C'mon I need to talk to you"

I take her hand and we go up her stairs. She opens the door to her room. It hasn't changed a bit and I look on her shelf and I see a picture of me and her on the beach. I remember that day clearly.

"That was the day we first kissed" Quinn said pointing to the picture.

I nod, "I know" I said look looking to the floor.

"I still love you" Quinn said.

"I know"

"Do you love me?" she said sounding like she was on the verge of tears.

"I do Quinn but what does that do? The last time I told you I did and we kissed you started pushing me away again!" I said yelling without even realizing it.

Quinn looks at the floor, "I know and I'm sorry"

"What does that do?" I said harshly, I know I need to be tough.

"Damn it Rachel!" Quinn shouts smacking the shelf, I flinch. "What do you want from me!" she shouts.

"I want you to prove to me that you lo-" I was cut off by Quinn's lips. This kiss was different than yesterdays. Both of us were forceful, we didn't waste any time in going onto Quinn's bed. I was on top of Quinn straddling her hips and we continued kissing. Her hands were running up and down my back, I felt tingly all over. In seconds clothes were off. I know I love her, I know I miss her. Quinn threw me onto the bed and she got on top me and we looked each other in the eye "I love you" Quinn said.

"I love you too" I say back and Quinn begins to kiss my neck and she goes lower to my collar bone. She gradually gets lower kissing every part of my body until she's on my stomach. I felt hot and cold at the same time, my body was run over by goosebumps. I felt Quinn's lips on my inner thigh and I just wanted her to pleasure me. I finally felt Quinn's lips on where I desired her most and I felt amazing. Everything felt right, I wanted her. I wanted all of her with me every day for the rest of my life. I was in a daze my head was spinning, my toes were curling, my back was arching and I felt like I had just been to heaven and back.

"What the- QUINN!" I heard a man shout.

I was quickly taken out of my daze.

"Dad! What are you doing here?" Quinn shouts.

I quickly stumble off her bed and run to her bathroom, I sat on her toilet seat and couldn't help but start to cry. Every time everything is perfect between us something ruins it. I cried because it was obvious I'm never going to have Quinn, I know I won't. Not now, not ever.

I heard Quinn and her dad arguing and shouting and I heard a door slam.

"Rachel" I heard Quinn whisper from the other side of the bathroom door. I open the door.

"I'm so sorry" Quinn said embracing me into a hug. I realized she was still naked, as was I.

I bodies fit perfectly together, but our minds never will. Our way of fixing problems is ignoring they ever happened and I know that's not the way it should be.

"Quinn, this isn't right" I whisper.

Quinn shakes her head with tears spilling over "I know, but I love you so much. I can't be without you"

I cup Quinn's face, "I love you too. And when you're ready I'll be here okay?"

Quinn nods and I hug her tight, "I love you" I kept whispering into her ear.

We both cried hysterically, we knew this was officially good bye. I finally pulled away and kissed her.

"I have to go" I said and I quickly ran into her room and grabbed my clothes (dressed) and ran home.

I feel so much better now, I have a sense of closure with Quinn. I know it will never be officially over but we'll be okay. It's about 6pm now and so much has happened today.

Now I'm going to dedicate my time into preparing for _SING!_ I'm finally going to tell my dads everything that has been going on. Wish me luck.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_


	6. Chapter 6

**I hope you guys are enjoying this tory, but I really need feedback! Anyways hope you enjoy this chapter! And even though this chapter is rather bland there is more drama on the way *hint hint* and of course more Puckleberry AND Faberry maybe even Pezberry!**

_Morning_

Finally I was able to get a full night's sleep. I know I'm going to be my Rachel Berry self today. Anyways, I realized thinking about yesterday I actually don't feel hurt, I feel great. I realize everything happens for a reason. The one thing I'm dreading is that Quinn will be mean to me again once we go into our sophomore year. But, there is no time to think about that because I leave tomorrow for _SING! _I am 110% ready. I am finally motivated to do my morning workouts, I quickly climb onto my elliptical, I decided to have Katy Perry's music playing. Her songs are always fun and that is exactly what I need right now. I am about 30 minutes into m workout and I hear the song "I Kissed a Girl" and I could not help but laugh.

"My, my Rachel. Someone is in there tip-top shape today. Ready for '_SING!_'?" my daddy comes in.

Oh let's get one thing clear, Daddy is Leroy and Dad is Hiram. When I am mad and have one of my "diva tantrums" (as my daddy likes to call them) I call both of them "father". When I do talk about them I do say "Fathers" I only say it because I feel it sounds formal and these two great men need to be represented well. They are the reason really on why I always need to be on top. It's very hard for a gay couple to have a child in Lima, Ohio. Sometimes I dislike the term "gay" I think they're relationship is like everyone else's full of love, commitment, passion, and of course fun (and music!).

"Yes, daddy this girl" I say pointing to myself "is ready" I finish with my great Rachel Berry smile, even though I am in terrible pain on my hamstrings. I really needed to work out the days that I didn't.

"Is that 'I kissed a Girl' playing?" daddy asks pointing at my stereo.

I nod and laugh, he laughs to because he understands.

He then walks over and sits on the edge of my bed, it means he wants to talk so I stop the elliptical and just stare. When it comes to talks with daddy he is always the one to get the first word and last word.

"What has been going on these past few days? You were like a zombie." He says with obvious concern in his eyes.

I nod, I know I've been absent-minded lately. I take a seat next to him and I look at him and sigh.

"Daddy, do you remember Quinn?" I say not wanting to make eye-contact because I know he does, he knows how she broke up with me; he knows how she bullied me at school. What he doesn't know is that whatever she does is to put on an act. Actually anytime she acts mad or mean it means she's hiding another emotion, like for me she was mean but it was only because she couldn't help the fact that she was in love with me.

"Mhmm." He nods then he lifts my head to make eye-contact with him "Is she bullying you again?"

I shake my head, "No, daddy. Actually I saw her" I look down. I really hope he doesn't ask for details, I am very comfortable in telling them everything just I wanted to be the one to approach them so I don't even have planned out what I am going to say.

"Like date?" he asked.

"I wish, but no. I saw her in very…" I'm trying to think of the right word "inauspicious times."

Daddy nods, I think he understands what I'm trying to say.

"Did she stalk you?" he says seriously.

I manage out a slight giggle "No daddy, actually the first time I saw her I was at Noah's and the second time I was taken by Santana to go see her."

I just realized I never told him about Noah so I quickly add, "Noah is one of my good friends..." only friend right now, "but we just started talking recently but I'll tell you how it all started okay?"

He nodded so I continue, "3 or 4 days ago" oh my I lost track "I went to the drugstore at the corner to buy shampoo and when I went into the aisle where they sell feminine products and Noah was there buying some" I had to stop to laugh because I realized saying it out loud was hilarious, "Anyways I continue not for him but for Quinn. She was living with him for a week. Her parents got into a huge fight about Russell having an affair- Did you know Quinn always knew Russell was having an affair"

"Rachel, keep the story in order. I always get confused just go from point A to point B" daddy laughs.

I giggle "Oh sorry. Okay, anyways he asked me to talk to him after we pay for our things so we walked to the park and he told me about Quinn and how he was the one texting me not her" which reminds me, I haven't seen the text messages yet, "Then I came home and I started getting more text and I thought it was Noah and it said to go to his house and I did. Quinn wasn't there so we ate and talked and had a good time actually. Anyways Quinn came drunk" I realized I needed to take a breath because I was speaking quickly without breathing. I inhale very loudly which made my daddy laugh "Noah took her to the bathroom and then he came and asked if I wanted to see her, I nodded. We started talking…. Well arguing" I stop myself thinking if I should tell him, I technically already did so I continue "Then she kissed me all of sudden and well we did that for a while but I realized it wasn't okay because our form of making up is ignoring the problems and then they come back so it's not okay. After I ran out I came home. The next day Noah stopped by and he told me Quinn isn't living with him anymore because…" I realize if I should tell him or not. It's not exactly me secret to share "she showed up drunk" I manage to say, it's part of the truth.

I look at daddy and he nods saying "It's okay, continue."

"After he left I decided to go to the drugstore, I was hoping to feed my sweet tooth actually but Santana saw me and took me to say Quinn. And yesterday was our actual good-bye. So that is why I feel great today"

I kept staring at him, he looked like he was soaking up everything I just said.

"So how do you feel about Quinn now?" he asked.

"I still love her, nothing will take that away. But now I'm okay with loving her, I don't miss her as much as I used to." Truth I'm not exactly sure I feel about her, and I don't know how I'll be once school starts.

"So what is your main priority now?" he asked looking at his hands.

I saw how serious he was so I decided to lighten up the mood, "Well daddy, my main priority is finding out how angry you will get if I clean out the debit card" I giggle, "Anyways my main priority is what it has always been… Broadway!"

I saw my daddy visibly relax. He smiles, I really wonder what he was thinking.

"You know what Rachel, let's go out to eat. Shower and get ready honey" he says with a smile on his face.

I smile back, "Will do" I put my arms up to him like I did when I was little when I wanted a hug, and he came and hugged me tight. I never realized how my daddy' hugs are filled with so much love and security. I made myself a mental note to hug both of them as much as I can today and tomorrow because I will be gone for a month.

"I'll tell dad to come home okay?" I nodded. Dad coming home wasn't a big deal, his work was right around the corner. Which reminds me, "Daddy why aren't you at work?"

He chuckles nervously "Well when we woke up we heard Katy Perry playing so we knew you were alright again. Your dad asked me to stay here and keep you company while he went to quick meeting for both of us"

I nodded, "Okay, now let me take my shower" I say shooing him to the door.

We both laughed.

I love them both, I now know they are all I need right now. Anyways I'm going to jump into the shower. Not literally….

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_

* * *

_Evening_

Today's family breakfast we great. We ate at my favorite vegan restaurant then they took me to see a showing of Chicago. I absolutely loved it! After Chicago we went to eat lunch at a cute little diner, I've never heard of it, it's called Abby's. The atmosphere in there is wonderful and they had a mini stage and a karaoke system. When the waitress came to take our orders my dads told her (there exact words) "My daughter Rachel Berry is a Broadway star. Her name will be in the papers soon" and to my surprise she looks at me and says "I thought I saw you somewhere. Did anyone ever tell you, you look like Shelby Corcoran?"

I shake my head "Nope" I really wonder who she is. I turn to look at my dads who had a very strange facial expression and both of them looked stiff as a board.

The waitress continued "Anyways why don't you get up on stage and sing us a wonderful song?"

I nod, "Anything to show my great talent" I don't really think my talent is all great, I just know that all stars are very confident in their work, so I assume I have to be.

I look at my dads briefly and they are still stiff but their faces turned white, I simply shake my head and get up to go onstage. I see there is a list of songs and begin to find the perfect one.

I decided to sing a wonderful pop song because I am in a wonderful mood today. I picked Sneakernight by Vanessa Hudgens. I think this song is so much fun; I always dance around my room whenever I hear it. Singing pop isn't really my thing but I love it!

The music starts and I prepare myself for the first verses.

I look at my dads and I started singing and dancing, everyone in the diner turned to look at me, some little girls shot up and started dancing, people got up and stood around the stage watching and clapping and dancing.

I now know being on-stage is my one true love. As I was up there I noticed a black haired woman walked out, she turned and she looked like me in a strange way. I simply shrugged it off and continued singing. I decided to add my own twist and I belted out the last note. That's my signature.

Everyone around me began clapping and whooing and whistling, I felt amazing. I walked back to the table with my dads and they both look relaxed. It was strange how they acted once the waitress mentioned that Shelby lady.

After we finally ordered and I simply got a milkshake, well soymilk shake and I got tea with honey.

After we came home and my dads started working on dinner so I came upstairs to write as much as I can. They are now calling me to eat dinner.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_


	7. Chapter 7

**The teachers are all made-up characters, except Mr. Thomas. He is an actual person that I know personally. Anyways the people she meets were based off of my favorite book, no it is not a crossover it's just a new quick character. I will be welcoming a new character that is introduced in season 1. He just makes a little cameo. Enjoy! (: I also apologize for the delay I could have sworn I put this up, just have a lot on my plate right now. Anyways quick clarification the reason why Rachel is so happy is because she feels "free" in a way.**

_Evening_

I left last night to Sydney, Ohio. I assumed we were going by plane, but daddies wanted to spend more time together so we took a train. They talked the whole way I didn't have time to sleep nor write, so I apologize for not writing what happened before I left.

So last night after we ate dinner they gathered by the piano and decided to have me practice for 15 minutes then get my things down to the car so we could leave. Now don't get me wrong, I love warming up my voice and seeing how far I've come along. Just last night I was so anxious to go, it is my big step to becoming a star. I decided to go through my warm ups slowly to see how I've come along, I am proud with what I hear. Anyways once we were done, dad brought my things down. As I said, I thought we were headed to the airport, but instead we went to the train station. You see the strangest things there.

The train ride was rather nerve-wrecking. Daddy and dad decided to suffocate me with questions, they mainly consisted of, "How often did you warm up this week?" or "Has your range expanded?" or "Did you rehearse any new songs?" and anything else along those guideline. Now don't get me wrong, I did already feel overwhelmed and their questions were not definitely helping me.

Anyways, I'm finally here at _SING! _I arrived this morning just in time for the orientation. Our teachers are a strange panel. There is Mrs. O' Harris whom looks like Dorothy from The Wizard Of Oz. Mrs. O' Harris did have striking legs, she was wearing a simple black fitted crew cut t-shirt that read _SING!_ she also had very small jean shorts, it wouldn't have been appropriate but if you have amazing legs flaunt all you want. I decided to walk towards the orientation after I signed in.

"Rachel Berry right?" an overly peppy voice exclaimed.

"Yes" I turn around with a confused smile, but I did look presentable…I think.

"I'm Mrs. O' Harris, the dance teacher" she looked down at my legs "Are you a dancer? Your legs are amazing!"

I felt my face get hot; no one has ever complimented me on my legs.

"Yes, I uh dance" I stuttered then finish "Ballet" I sounded nervous; I try to quickly compose myself.

"Well Rachel, every new camper gets a mentor and lucky for you, you don't get Stacy" she said with a childish smile bobbing her head to the direction of an elderly woman with a scowl.

I smiled, "So who will be my mentor?" I ask dumfounded.

"This girl!" she said pointing at herself with a smile bigger than mine.

I couldn't help but smile. People always say first impressions should always be your best, well Mr. O' Harris is making an amazing impression. This is strange I usually do not enjoy a teacher who seems like they are all about fun zero work. I just hope she's also all business.

"I'm going to take you to your room, then we will go to the orientation." She said confidently, "And be prepared to see yours truly perform" she slightly bowing.

She quickly comes up next to me and links our arms together.

"Many people think grey and yellow don't go together, but you prove them wrong honey" She said staring at me up and down.

"I believe they complement each other perfectly" I say matter-of-factly.

"Now I know who to go to when I need help picking my outfit" she said winking at me.

I smile and look away, I felt my cheeks get real hot. This woman was truly amazing. No one ever takes time to notice what I wear or my legs. They just see the Loser Rachel Berry or the overly ambitious shrimp. It's nice to hear complements after a sea of insults.

"So this is your room" she said as we stopped in front of a white door with a cute little white board that read "Welcome!" and has all these notes bordered around it.

I heard a phone beeping and quickly went to my bag.

"No Rachel, it's me" Mrs. O' Harris said staring at her phone, "Excuse me" she said as she answered.

I was about to unlock the door, But I was smothered by the desire to overhear. I pretend to fumble around with my keys that were given to me at the sign in desk and listen in on Mrs. O' Harris conversation.

"Yes, honey" she said in a cooing way.

"I promise we'll go on our official honeymoon after this is over" she said smiling but her voice didn't match her expression.

"Okay I love you too honey -muah- bye!" she hung up and blushed. She looked helplessly in love.

I was really curious so I decided to ask, "Husband?" while I finally put the key into the lock and twist.

"Mmmm, no" she said hesitantly.

"Wife?" I asked, I stopped myself there or else I would start rambling.

She sounded like a timid child, her body language matched her expression, "Yes"

"That must be amazing!" I said sounding just as peppy as she does. "I think you've won yourself to the top of my list"

She looked at me stunned then grinned. I continued, "It's just I'm not sure what my orientation is. The first and only person I've ever dated was a girl, but I still find men attractive." I quickly halted myself or else I would babble my way to an endless rant.

"Oh well just always know you can talk me about anything, I mean that is what a mentor is for" she said motherly. She then glanced at her clock, "Rachel! We only have two minutes until the orientation!" she shouted sounding like a scared child.

She resembles a child very much, anyways; we threw my luggage into my room. I didn't have enough time to actually see. We bolted down the hall and exited the building and ran to the auditorium. Mrs. O' Harris dropped me off at the first door and ran off. I walked in and found an open seat in the back row. I looked around and realized I was sitting next to a girl. She had long amazing black hair; she had olive skin and the most perfect nose I've ever seen. She had long thick eyelashes that fit her brown eyes perfectly. She had smooth luscious lips, I couldn't help but admire her. She looked like a model. Even her outfit was jaw-dropping, she had on a white lace shirt and it was tucked into a pink skirt. I stared at her in awe and she suddenly turned and looked at me, we made brief eye-contact but she took my breath way. She didn't look surprised instead she just smiled. I quickly smiled back and looked away feeling my cheeks turn pink.

"Alright ladies and germs!", an old man spoke. He had a smooth confident voice that projected to the back of the room. I now know he is either a choir director or has been on stage.

"I'm Mr. Thomas, the head honcho of this place" he said confidently again.

_Is everyone at this school a performer?_

"Before you hear me talk about rules and boring classes we have a performance for you all!"

He walked off the stage and the lights came off for about a minute and then came the spotlight and you heard a man say, "And now the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango!" and the music began.

One by one you saw the dancer come out and begin to sing, "Pop, six, squish, cicero, lipshitz"

I then spot Mrs. O' Harris, she was Velma Kelly. The performers were not dressed in promiscuous clothing, instead they sported a black tank with black leggings and of course black heels.

Each woman did their part perfectly; I obviously gave them a standing ovation. A well deserving performance needed one. Mr. Thomas went up on stage and tried to calm the crowd down, once the clapping quieted down I reached for the armrest to support myself when I sat back down. My hand landed right on top of the black-haired beauty's hand.

We looked at eachother briefly and smiled and pulled our hands away.

"Now you all have met your mentors, am I right?" Mr. Thomas began.

The audience all shouted "yes!", or "yep!", or anything of that concept.

"Oh goody! Now I don't need to talk all that much, great!" he smiled.

He began to talk about classes and curfews and rules. After an hour of him talking the orientation was over. I stood up and joined the big crowd shuffling through the exit.

"Oh my god! It's Jessie St. James!" a girl exclaimed behind me.

I followed her eyes and saw a tall thin boy with thick brown curls. He practically walked like he owned the world, but I do understand every performer needs to be confident and your walk shows it. He ignored the girl behind me.

"Hey" I heard a soft voice from behind me.

I turn to see the black haired girl, she was taller than I expected.

"Oh, hi" I said sporting my Rachel Berry smile.

"I'm Zoey", she looked nervous.

"I'm Rachel" I held my hand out.

She took my head and smiled, we decided to walk side-by-side as we exited the auditorium.

"Oh Rachel!" I had Mrs. O' Harris peppy voice shout, "You've met Zoey!" she said eyeing us both.

"This is her last year though" she said sadly, "I hope you join our staff next year" she said directed at Zoey.

Zoey shrugged and smiled shyly, "You know Mrs. O' Harris I can never leave _SING!_"

I smile, "Amazing" realizing I sounded dreamy, I quickly add, "I mean it's amazing that a teacher would want you to come back, you obviously must be talented." I sounded very stern so I add a smile so I don't seem so serious. I felt my cheeks get hot.

I notice Mrs. O' Harris staring at me with a smirk, "You know Rachel, Zoey is a lot more like you than you think" she sounded very mischievous. She winked and quickly hurried off to the teacher nearest to her.

I faced Zoey, "What does she mean exactly?"

Zoey smiled and lifted her wrist, showing her now very visible tattoo. It had two female signs conjoined by a heart, I smiled. "Is everyone gay at this school?" I hear myself joke. I realize I'm not so uptight right now, I don't have to fight to belong; I feel like this is where I belong.

Zoey giggled, "No Rachel, maybe about half the school" she said grinning.

I open my mouth to respond but heard Mr. Thomas' voice over the PA system, "Dinner will be served in 5 minutes! Have a great evening!"

I smile at Zoey, "I don't know where the cafeteria is, show me?" I realize I'm flirting but smile anyway.

"Of course" Zoey said as she wrapped her arm through my elbow.

I looked up at her and grinned. We walked towards the cafeteria, which resembles a food court at the mall. We stand in line for a (thankfully!) vegan bar. Zoey walked towards another bar and got her tray of food. I quickly got to the front of the line and decided to try new vegan foods I haven't tried. I walk out of the line and wait for Zoey, she appears with a mountain of bacon on top of her plate, I couldn't help but think of Quinn and smile sadly. We took a seat and began to make small talk in between bites but I was too wrapped up in thinking about Quinn I don't know what Zoey said.

"Rachel!" a familiar eager voice shouted. I turned and faced Mrs. O' Harris, "You got mail, let's go to your room. You can bring your food" she said smiling showing me the envelopes.

"Bye Zoey" I smiled in her direction and she smiled back with a mouthful of bacon, I couldn't help but giggle and also feel disgust. I don't know how a person can eat meat. I shudder to myself.

We reached my room and Mrs. O' Harris held out the envelopes; "Here" I took the envelopes as I opened the door to a painfully mundane room.

"Please tell me I can decorate" I said eyeing the room.

"Of course, that is why they are plain, so a student can express themselves" she said matter of fact.

"Great!" I said smiling big. Daddy sure did help me with interior design, I begin to make a mental checklist of all the things I need.

"Okay I'll let you be" Mrs. O' Harris said as she closed the door, I turned to a now closed door.

I sat on the edge of my bed and stared at the envelopes. I received 4 letters. One is from my fathers of course the second is from Noah Puckerman and the third is from (I hope I read that right) Santana, and the fourth is from Quinn. I am very concerned about this.

I still haven't opened them but I will right now.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_


	8. Chapter 8

__**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! This one was an impulse write, I was at a sleepover and a sudden thought occurred to me so I decided to type it out before it flew out of my mind. The new characters are also from my favorite book series but as I said before this isn't a crossover. They won't make many appearances though. I hope to hear your feedback or even ideas! **

_Morning_

I apologize, my faithful journal for not writing last night after I read those letters. I was reading Quinn's letter for a fifth time and my eyes fell heavy and I drifted off to sleep. Everything I read though stuck to me, I obviously had a dream with her. It wasn't strange, it just made my heart ache; but I do realize I am in this astonishing camp that I cannot let this bring me down. I do have to write down the dream though, or else I will be distracted by it all day.

"Rachel, are you ready?" Quinn spoke as smooth as an angel. She looked at me with such loving eyes as she sat across me in her red beetle.

I nod but start to slowly shake my head, "But Quinn, what about everyone else?" I ask. It's strange I'm even taking other people's thoughts into consideration.

"Who cares?" she spoke softly and calm, "I love you and that is all that matters" she smiles at me, I look deep into her eyes and find her loving soul within those hazel windows.

"I love you too" I sounded confident even though my stomach was filled with butterflies and my cheeks were rosy red.

"Then let's go" she spoke with such confidence I felt hypnotized and she opened the door to her car, I watched her exit and walk around the front of the car and stop in front of my door. She opened my door and reached for my hand, "Let's go my little Broadway star" she said with so much love I could feel her words hugging me.

I take her hand and look deep into her eyes as I exit the car, I finally break eye contact and look around at the setting. We are standing in the school parking lot and Quinn is in her wonderful Cheerios uniform. She closes my door and interlaces our fingers as she holds my hand. I look at her and grin shyly and she gives me a wink before we walk into the halls of the ever so crowded McKinley High.

Both doors opened and Quinn walked in with such a confident stride I paled in comparison. I decided to hold my head high as well as she did. I realized every student parted like the red sea as we walked, I look up to see Quinn and she looks down and grins at me and plants a kiss on my cheek, as if I weren't already blushing I felt my cheeks grow even hotter.

I look ahead and see Noah and Santana watching, both with huge grins and eyes that told me 'You two are perfect for each other' I smiled at both of them and they nodded in response.

Quinn stops and we are standing in front of her locker and she uses her free hand to twist the knob into the correct numbers and opens it. I just continue to admire her beautifully angelic face.

She turns and looks at me, when I think she is going to say, "I love you" or "You're beautiful" but instead.

"Good Morning campers! I hope you all slept well, breakfast will be served at 8:30! Have a sing song day!"

If it isn't obvious that is where the dream ends. I am very upset that my dream couldn't continue, but I realize it's a good thing. If my dream went any farther than it already has I'd feel like my heart had been ripped out of my chest instead of slight chest pain.

I decided to grab her letter and hide it in my drawer. I'm not exactly ready to write down what Quinn's letter read, but I will write what Noah's and Santana's read. First will be Noah's letter.

Hey Jewbabe, blondie made me write this, she threatened. It wasn't really necessary to threaten me I would have written anyway. So how are you? Got any ladies? (;  (Yes, he did write/draw a winky face) Quinn is acting like a total loon here. Don't really know what's wrong with her but I think she would tell you in her letter. She even made Satan write one, tell me what she says….. and by that I mean insults. Anyways we left things kind of unsaid when you left, but I decided not to tell Quinn about us doing it. I think it'd be best especially since she's got a thing going with Finn. I guess she told you. Write back when you can, bye jew babe. P.S be sure to kick their asses in singing, because I sure in hell am blown away by your voice.

I did enjoy Noah's letter, it made me smile….except the part about Quinn and Finn. I am rather upset Noah decided not to tell Quinn about her' de-flowering' I understand I told him not to tell her because of my jealousy but I now realize I need to tell him the truth about my reasoning.

Now here is Santana's letter, it was strange, and I don't think I've heard/read so much vulgarity in my years of living.

Hobbit, let's get one thing clear Q made me do this. Regardless I would have written either way, but if you tell anybody I will ends you. Anyways this bitch is going crazy over here, after her dad caught you two doing the dirty he practically forced her to go to church. He ended up finding her a large cabbage patch kid to go on a date with. That giant fuck wears the dumbest expression on his face it makes me wants to ends myself. I don't like you shrimp but I'd rather have Q with you and be truly happy instead of her and that brick wall. Better knock some fucking sense into her before she does something stupid…. Again.

What I understood from Santana's letter is: Rachel you are the perfect match for Quinn and I would hate to see her waste her time pleasing her father by dating Finn. You make Quinn truly happy and you better get her back.

I mean I somewhat understand Santana she likes to hide her vulnerability behind her malicious exterior.

I just heard a knock on my door and I look up at the clock, it is 8:22. I have to go eat breakfast, I will write as soon as this day ends, or by lunch time.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_

* * *

_Evening_

I know I should continue talking about Quinn, but today just confused me. The person who was knocking at my door was Zoey and she looked extremely beautiful. She was wearing tight black skirt that hugged her hips wonderfully it made my mouth drool like a disturbed perverted boy. She was wearing a black muscle shirt that exposed the top of her breast; her hair was swept to one side long and straight. I looked at her neck and it revealed yet another tattoo. It was a zodiac sign, I assume it was hers. It was the Aries sign.

"Do you need time to get ready?" she said with a low sultry voice that tickled down my spine.

I was so hypnotized by her words I didn't realize I was wearing my matching pink pajama set. My eyes grew wide and I started to smile shyly, " I uh I got carried away" I stuttered.

She smiled a smile filled with satisfactory as if she was proud of making me so nervous, "Why don't you let me help you pick your outfit?" she cooed. She even made the simple words sound arousing.

I simply opened my door wider so she can come in and she did. I watched her as she strided into my room rocking her hips in a confident and flirtatious matter.

I tried my best not to look at her, "I uh I forgot to unpack last night so everything is still in my bag" I sounded extremely intimidated.

"It's perfectly fine" she said as she bent over in front my luggage clearly exposing her black lace panties.

_Oh this girl, she is turning me into a drooling boy_ I thought to myself, _Now I know how Noah feels_ I silently giggle to myself.

I look and she had already taken out all my clothing from my luggage making a mess in my room. Even though she was undeniably attractive I did get upset that she made a mess of my clothing.

I looked at her and cleared my throat as she rummaged through my clothing.

She looked up and read my angry expression, "Oh I'm sorry Rach" she pouted and batted her eyes. I couldn't help but smile. 'It's okay' I mouthed.

"Let me go into the bathroom and wash up quickly" I said entering my gray bathroom. I closed the door before I even heard her response. I quickly undressed and took a shower at lightning speed and brushed my teeth, I came out in my fluffy pink robe and found Zoey laying across my bed in a very seductive manner. I tried my best to ignore her, well her body to be exact.

"I chose your outfit" she spoke softly and pointed to at the corner of my bed.

I saw the outfit and realized it was something I would have worn on a daily basis. I smiled because I now know she knows me on some level.

"Go ahead and change, I promise I won't look" she spoke confidently.

I nodded and began to change, I was pulling up my skirt and felt eyes on me, I turned and saw Zoey watching me. She looked at me with such desire it actually made me feel beautiful but I quickly cleared my throat and realized it was past 8:30.

"Isn't it past 8:30?" I asked trying my best to change the subject.

"Yes, but Mrs. O' Harris came in and I told her we'd be going out to eat and then we were going to go buy stuff to decorate you room" she looked down the looked up quickly as if she was caught red handed, "Sorry I read your list and realized you desperately wanted to decorate this room" she sounded more like herself now.

"So she was okay with this?" I asked.

"She was ecstatic, she said she can't wait to see how you decorated you room" Zoey smiled "Truth is neither can I"

I smiled, "Well I'll have you know my wonderful fathers are interior designers, so expect nothing but the best" I sounded as confident as I felt.

She laughed "Okay Ms. Streisand, get dressed so we can go, I'm starved"

I smiled huge because of her reference to the amazing Barbra, "Fine, but only because you used my idol as a nickname" I giggled.

We left and went to her car, to my surprise it was a black mustang. I have never met a girl like her and I was surprised I was actually becoming attracted to her. She was the complete opposite of Quinn, the one girl I'm in love with. The whole way to wherever it was she was taking me I kept quiet because all I could think about was Quinn.

I assume Zoey understood why I was silent so she just continued driving. To my surprise she stopped in front of a small family owned diner.

I exited her car trying to shake off all thoughts of Quinn; Zoey came to my side and linked our arms. I quickly forgot about Quinn, but I did feel slightly empty. I hated that I knew it needed to be this way.

"Hey Shaunee, Erin, and Damien" Zoey called out as we walked into the small diner. "This is Rachel, she's a newbie at _SING!"_ she smiled.

"Hi it's wonderful to meet you all" I said sounding confident trying to forget about my negative thoughts.

"Oh hey!" I assume it was Shaunee the one that shouted.

"You're darn cute" which I assume Erin finished.

I smiled nervously. It's like Zoey read my mind and spoke, "Shaunee is the jamacaiin goddess as we like to call her" she said pointing at the dark skinned girl with curly hair. I smiled at her, "And Erin is her twin" she said pointing to a blonde. I assume my face expressed how confused I was because Damien spoke, "Rachel, they aren't actual twins or fraternal twins, they just share a brain which is disturbing" he smiled at them "And annoying" he finished. Damien sounded very matter of fact like he knew everything about everything. His tone didn't exactly match his appearance he was a thin boy with thick rim glasses and well groomed hair, he reminded me of a boy from my English class, Kurt.

"Shut" Erin shouted.

"Up" Shaunee finished. I began to laugh realizing he was absolutely right.

"Come on" Zoey said nudging my arm, "Let's eat"

I smiled at her and followed her to the table at the far left corner.

* * *

"Penny for your thoughts?" Zoey spoke quietly.

I looked at her confused.

"You were quiet the whole time we ate and the whole ride here" she sounded disappointed.

"I uh" I sighed, I knew I had to tell her, "I'm sorry it's just about my last girlfriend" I tried to say her name but it was barely audible. It actually hurt to say her name.

"Oh" she said "Is she your first love?"

I simply nodded. "But it it's over and it will remain like that" I sighed feeling the heartache all over again.

Zoey nodded, "I totally get it, let's just go shopping now" she said as she took her keys out of her bag.

She opened her car door and I opened mine. This car ride was also quiet but it wasn't awkward or tension filled. We were both just lost in our own thoughts.

We visited about 3 different stores I bought everything that was on my list.

* * *

I am now sitting in my room and everything I bought is sitting in the corner next to my bed. We've been out the whole day and I thought we would get in trouble, but to my surprise we didn't. I haven't heard from Mrs. O' Harris either. Anyways I have to get started on decorating so I will write tomorrow morning.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry this took my so long to publish. I just felt very unmotivated. I apologize if this chapter isn't my best, I actually wrote it to distract myself because lately I've been feeling bullied and whatnot and I didn't want to pay attention to all the negativity anymore so I decided to write. I hope you guys at least like this chapter, please please review. I would very much enjoy it if you guys left feedback on things you like or things you dislike, anything. **_  
_

_Morning_

I finished redecorating this bland room. It is now a representation of myself and the positive energy I always carry. Thanks to Zoey yesterday I am in a positive mood, I am excited and I'm ready to take this summer camp by storm. I am now ready to write down Quinn's letters and messages. First I'll write the letter.

Rachel, how are you? How's _"SING!"_? Please tell me you're wow-ing everyone like you do me. Anyways, I'm very sorry my dad had to walk in on our magical moment of finally being reunited and as one, I don't think I could ever stop apologizing. I love you, and I'm sorry if that's not enough. I am also sorry to share this news with you, but my dad was very upset by us he went through my phone contacts and found Finn and set me up on a date with him. Now Rachel please don't be mad or hate me, but I agreed. It's nothing serious and it never will be, my heart will always belong with you, please tell me you know that. I hope we could possibly talk once you come back. Always love, Quinn

I loved her letter, but I also hate it. I thought we were done, not that I want to be but not being with Quinn is sometimes just as hard as being with her. I feel as if I'm stuck on a dead end with this. Anyways, now the messages.

_Noah/Quinn: Babeyy I lovd ytn ane_

Now that one I think there is a possibility that is a drunken text.

_Noah/Quinn: We need to talk._

_Noah/Quinn: RACHEL! _

_Noah/Quinn: Please don't ignore me_

_Noah/Quinn: It's Puck, Q just wants to know if you're okay._

_Noah/Quinn: Rachel just want to make sure you're fine. Xx_

_Noah/Quinn: I love you Rach. I hope we get to talk soon_

_Noah/Quinn: Q really needs you right now._

_Noah/ Quinn: Q's getting desperate, don't ignore her anymore_

_Noah/Quinn: Sorry about the phone calls it was Q, but don't ignore her._

After reading these messages I did suddenly feel a rush of guilt, maybe I was a little bit too selfish to think of Quinn and what she was going through. I wish being with Quinn was fun and simple, how it was last year over the summer.

Okay, enough of Quinn. Today is the first official day; I get to go to my classes today. Yesterday was a 'Free-bie' day where there are no classes and the students/ campers get to get comfortable in their "new" home. My first class is not until 9, I have about 2 hours to spare. I woke up early around 6 and I managed to find the running trail and went for a 2-mile run and then came back and took a nice hot shower to relieve my sore muscles. It's 7 now and I'm not all too sure on what to do until I hear a knock on my door.

"Raaaaaaaacccccccchhhhhheeeee lllllll" an overly-perky voice sang.

I opened the door, "Good morning Mrs. O' Harris. I enjoyed your on key singing of my name" I said with a warm and welcoming smile.

As I spoke I saw her eyes wander into my room and they suddenly got wide and she began to squeal. She pushed past me and walked into my room.

"Oh Rachel! I love how you decorated the room!" she sounded extremely excited, "The pink! The flowers! OOOOOH! That fluffy chair and the hot pink lamp! Eeeeeeeeeeehhhh!" she squealed.

I watched her point at every colorful item in my room and had a humungous smile on my face. Mrs. O" Harris was always complimenting me on everything I do.

"Thank you" I manage to squeeze into her raging child-like giggles.

"Anyways Rachel" she said finally looking at me with a big smile, "Are you excited for today?"

"Mrs. O' Harris I will have you know I am more than excited. I am also very well prepared for what today brings me" I say confidently.

"Oh really?" I heard a flirty voice chime in "Would you be prepared if I kissed you?" the voice continued.

I looked up surprised, before I could say anything Mrs. O' Harris chimes in, "Oh Zoey! It's great you're here" she said smiling, "Did you help Rachel pick everything?"

Zoey walked in with her confident stride that reminded me of Quinn, "No" she giggled "If I did there wouldn't be so much pink" she laughed.

"Hey! Don't insult the pink" I said with a smile, but I really was defending my room. _My room. My way._

Zoey put her hands up defensively, "Hey I was only stating I wouldn't personally get this much pink." She smiled, "Besides this is who you are and I love it" she said giving me a quick wink before turning to Mrs. O' Harris.

There was just something about Zoey that resembled Quinn. First there was her confident stride, both of them walked like they owned the world. Second their eyes, they may be different colors but both show that they are a deep intellectual soul. Then there was the way that whenever they walked into a room they made their presence known. Then there is they're obsessions with bacon, it may be disgusting but I can't turn everyone vegan. I respect their choices.

"See you later Rachel!" Mrs. O' Harris called out walking out my room. I realized I was standing their lost in my thoughts about Zoey and Quinn. I simply smiled at the doorway and turned to Zoey.

"Still thinking about her aren't you?" she said sounding curious.

I simply nodded; I know myself too well, if I would have said yes then continue a long rant about Quinn.

"Rach, I really think it's time you actually talk about her" she said sounding concerned. I turn to look at her to see if she was serious and she genuinely was concerned. I sighed. That statement really was unexpected. I've never actually sat down to talk about Quinn, maybe with Noah but not everything there is.

I sat on my bed and looked at my lap, I then felt an arm wrap around me and a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay Rach" Zoey whispered.

I felt hot tears stream down on my cheek. I really thought this was over, I really though after that day with Quinn things were going to be over for sure. Why does she do this to me?!

"Talk when you're ready" she whispered again.

I nodded, I knew I needed to talk about it so I tried to control myself.

"Quinn was the first…." I tried to control my sobs, "person I've ever dated. The first person to ever actually take time to notice me." I had to stop there to compose myself. I inhaled a very deep breath and exhaled, "Can you get me water?" I asked Zoey. She looked me in the eye and nodded and got up and exited my room to go get water.

"Damn it Rachel", I scolded myself. "For once be strong. You're stronger than this. Quinn is already dating someone else, you can move on too" I tried to convince myself. I was too smart for that, Quinn was only dating Finn to please her dad and not only that, I promised her I'd wait for her.

I heard a light knock on my door, "I brought your water" Zoey said holding up a bottle of Fiji water. I took the water bottle out of her hand and took out a cup my daddys' bought me before I came. It was rimmed with gold at the top and had tiny little stars that looked like glitter from far but if you squint very carefully you see they're just tiny stars. I poured the water in the cup. Drinking out of a cup would give me a sense of home and maybe I'll be comfortable talking.

I took my cup and sat on my bed again, this time Zoey sat at the far edge and watched me.

"So" I continued, "In middle school I didn't have any friends. I'm not sure if it's because I was unapproachable or I didn't have time. But I was always doing different things to distract myself. Sure I got lonely and when I did my dads would add a new class for me to join. Finally summer came and that's when I met Quinn" I sighed.

"And that's when she noticed you" Zoey said. I knew it wasn't a question it was more of a statement.

I nodded, "We had an instant connection. We spent every day of summer of summer together but then things began to change. We broke up because she accused me of lying and it was 'over'" I managed to make air quotes. Zoey nodded, "School started and I guess she was so ashamed of what happened between us she began to make my life a nightmare. She was a cheerleader so obviously everybody followed her lead but every time she made a rude comment to me, I know she didn't mean it. I saw it in her eyes." I sounded very defensive.

"It was never really over was it?" Zoey asked. Again it wasn't a question.

I shook my head, "No. It's very confusing. But she is already dating someone else" I only said that to convince myself that maybe I shouldn't love her.

"And you can't help but love her can you?" Zoey asked.

I shook my head and took a long drink of water. I finished my cup of water and I quickly got up to put it away, but I think I got up too quickly that I felt dizzy. Zoey quickly came to my side and helped me up.

I turned to look at her face and it was only inches away from mine, "Thank you" I said in a whisper but she heard me.

I looked into her eyes and I felt safe, warm, and important. I haven't felt this way, well since Quinn. I could tell Zoey was reading my eyes too. I wonder how she felt when she saw mine, Zoey began to bring her face closer to mine and our lips were barely brushing and I began to close my eyes but then I thought of Quinn. I was about to pull away but I realized she was probably sucking face with that gigantic dopey faced boy. So I then decided to kiss Zoey. I broke the space between our lips and she welcomed me in. She wrapped her arms around me and I kissed her hard. I didn't realize I felt angry; I wanted to get Quinn back for everything she's done to me. Zoey and I simultaneously pulled back away slowly.

"Wow" Zoey whispered.

"Yeah" I nodded catching my breath. I don't think I've ever sounded so idiotic responding with "Yeah"

"I uh I" Zoey began to stutter, "I got to go" she said.

I nodded and I pulled away from her but she caught my arm and quickly kissed my lips lightly. She then walked out.

I turn to my clock and see it is 8:30 am; I still had 30 minutes to kill so I decided to write. I am very surprised that happened. I feel slightly guilty but I also feel exhilarated. I've never been with anyone besides Quinn and I wanted to see what it was like. It is now 8:50 so I have to run to first class, but I will most definitely write when I come back.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry* _


	10. Chapter 10

__**I'm introducing new characters today! I hope you enjoy oh and guess who comes back to Rachel's life? QUINN! Anyways, I promise I will update the next chapter quickly. Enjoy! (:**

_Evening_

Today was my first day of class, and aside what happened in the morning with Zoey I vowed that today will be great, and it was. Afterschool was confusing but let's disregard that for now. My first class was dance with the none other Mrs. O' Harris.

I walked in 5 minutes early and saw Mrs. O' Harris standing with Zoey in her room, they looked deep into a conversation so I just stood there.

"Rachel!" Mrs. O' Harris smiled, "You're here!" she smiled even wider.

I looked up and smiled, "Yes, wouldn't want to make a bad impression as a student"

"Oh please Rachel, I already know you're a magnificent student" Mrs. O' Harris said matter-of-fact.

That made me smile even bigger but then I saw Zoey looking away from me, obviously trying to avoid eye contact. My smile faded.

"Hey tiny, you're blocking the door" a girl that reminded me of Santana said.

I turned to face her; she was tall and thin and had short black hair. She was obviously a ballet dancer.

"What never seen a girl this pretty?" she scoffed while rolling her eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh, I could handle bitchy, and I've dealt with Santana and Quinn and about all the other cheerios except Brittany. This girl paled in comparison to everyone else.

She scoffed again and pushed past me.

"What your skinny ass couldn't manage to squeeze in the door" Zoey said sarcastically to her.

"Oh Zoey you're only jealous because I can wear tights and not have my ass stick out" she scoffed.

"You're tights obviously don't hide your manhood hermi" I heard another girl say from behind me.

"Shut it Aphrodite!" the girl snapped.

Aphrodite was a beautiful blonde and she looked at me, "Is skinny bitch giving you a hard time?" she didn't give me a chance to answer, "She's just mad because you're the only newby that's taking the advanced class, and when she came she had to start from the beginning" she said confidently.

"Anyways I'm Aphrodite and skinny bitch is Sasha" she smiled and walked to the end of the room and gave Zoey a long hug.

I looked away surprised at the fact that Mrs. O' Harris hadn't chimed in, but I guess in all the chaos she stepped out because she was nowhere to be seen.

I walked to the end of the room and put my bag down and began stretching, after stretching my straddle I look up and see Zoey standing with Aphrodite. Aphrodite had her arms wrapped around her waist and was whispering things into her ear. I watched as Zoey smiled and red took over her cheeks, she then looked up and looked me dead in the eyes. I felt myself flinch and I saw her body tighten I quickly looked down and pretended to be distracted.

_Is she dating Aphrodite?_

"Okay everyone let's begin!" Mrs. O' Harris shouted as she walked in with a beautiful woman. The women had these large brown eyes that reminded me of my own in a strange way. She had long black hair and a strong nose, very similar to mine.

I was so distracted I didn't realize everyone in the class set in a formation. Aphrodite, Sasha, and Zoey were in front along with other girls that held their first position confidently. I stood in the back with 4 other girls, they held their first position beautifully but not as confidently as Aphrodite and Sasha and Zoey. Those three reminded me of Quinn, Santana and Brittany.

"Let's begin" Mrs. O' Harris shouted as the light music began. I caught up quickly and the class was over rather quickly. I assume it was because I was very intrigued I didn't feel the time pass.

Everyone in the class began getting their things and walked out, I was just about to exit the door when I felt an arm grab me. I turned around and I was facing Zoey.

"Yes?" I asked feeling a rush of anger come through me. I disliked being lied to as much as being grabbed and man-handled.

"Can we talk?" she asked me with obviously pleading eyes.

I couldn't help but melt into them, "Okay" I said barely audible.

We both walked out of the room together and began walking towards my room. The whole walk was silent and awkward. Our arms brushed past eachother occasionally and we would pull away quickly. We finally entered my room and Zoey sat on my bed.

I looked at my clock, "I only have 15 minutes until I my next class" I said sounding a lot more confident than I am.

"That's okay" Zoey whispered.

I nodded and walked to my closet to choose my outfit for my next class.

"I'm sorry you had to see that" Zoey said.

"Saw what?" I acted as if I didn't know what she was talking about.

"Rachel don't play dumb with me, you and I both know what you clearly saw" she said quickly and fiercely and again that reminded me of Quinn. I couldn't help but frown.

"Rachel" Zoey began with a much softer tone, "Aphrodite and I aren't dating" she said.

She continued, "She was dating a boy in our class and they had a very messy break up and she wanted to get him jealous, things happened and I ended up fake dating her. It's a very strange story but she and I are best friends. That's all we are. She knows about you, why do you think she defended you from Sasha?"

I laughed; "I don't think I need defending from Sasha" I turned to face Zoey.

"I know" she grinned.

"So then why did you walk out when we uh..." I felt my cheeks turn hot.

"When we kissed?" Zoey quickly added.

I nodded slowly, "I don't know." She said sounding deep in thought, "I'm just a mess sometimes" she said. It was obvious she was putting her wall up.

I nodded not wanting her to push to her talk.

"You should wear a black skirt and a fun shirt" Zoey said quickly changing the subject.

I looked into my closet and nodded and picked out a black skirt with a white shirt that had the treble cleft in the center.

I began to change and I felt Zoey's eyes on me. I didn't want to turn around because I knew my cheeks burned a bright red, I decided to change nonchalantly with my back to her. I could feel her eyes piercing though me as I stood there in my bra and underwear. I turned and saw Zoey's cheeks also burned red.

I smiled shyly and shrugged, "Sorry" and I quickly put on my skirt and shirt.

"It's okay" she said sounding breathless.

"So uh" I began sounding idiotic "do you like me?"

"What do you think Rachel" Zoey began as she walked towards me.

"I uh" I sounded very childlike. Zoey's lips brushed against mine, she kissed me very softly then came up to my ear and whispered, "Of course I do Rachel" I felt goosebumps run through my body, she gently brushed her lips against my neck and I pulled away quickly not wanting to let this get out of hand. I quickly glance at my clock. I only had three minutes until my next class.

"Zoey I only have three minutes" I said quickly.

"_We_ only have three minutes, I have class with you" she said calmly.

I tugged on her am "Let's go! I need to be punctual!" I practically shouted.

Zoey followed me as we ran across the dorms towards our next class. I pushed the door breathlessly and everyone in the class turned to face me, I felt Zoey right behind me.

"Well" Mr. Thomas began, "It's great to see you show Zoey" he said quickly.

"Well Mr. Thomas you know me, I always love to make an entrance" she winked at him.

"Well who do we have here?" he asked looking at me. I felt everybody's eyes on me so I said confidently.

"I'm Rachel Berry and I apologize for disrespecting you by showing up late" I smiled my great Rachel Berry smile.

"Hmm Rachel Berry" he said "You're the girl who beat my best singer last year in a competition, do you remember?" he said as he raised his eyebrow.

"Well, Mr. Thomas. To be honest I do not remember, but if I did, I think I'm sorry" I smiled.

"Don't ever apologize for your talent darling" he smiled at me seeming very father like.

I nodded and was about to take a seat when I heard Mr. Thomas say, "Sing something"

I turned and faced him, "Now?"

He nodded, "I'd like you to show my advanced class your talent" he smiled.

I nodded, "Well I'd be delighted will you pick a song"

He smiled, "Of course, but I am very old school"

I nodded as I took a piece of music out of his hands. I read the title, "Oh Mr. Thomas I will not need the music for this, I know this song backwards" I smiled.

"Great" he said as he got up and walked to his piano.

The music began.

**Don't tell me not to live just sit and putter**

**Life's candy and the sun is a ball of butter**

**Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade**

I began and closed my eyes and imagined myself on Broadway performing in front of a packed house. I then felt my heart pour out into the song and I thought of Quinn and felt hot tears run down my cheeks but then I thought of Zoey as I was just about to hit my last note and smiled.

I opened to my eyes and everyone stared at me wide-eyed and Mr. Thomas got up and began clapping, after everyone began clapping. I smiled, this was my mini version of being on stage.

Mr. Thomas walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder, "You are very talented my dear, It's great to have you in my class" he smiled as everyone around me began clapping and whoo-ing.

"Alright" Mr. Thomas began "Settle down, let's begin"

Everyone settled down and I found a seat by Zoey, she held my hand and whispered "Good job, that was amazing" I smiled at her and turned my full attention to Mr. Thomas. He was talking to the woman who was in Mrs. O' Harris' class earlier.

"Okay class" he turned to us, "This is Shelby Corcoran, she is an amazing singer and she will help us with our performance at the end" he smiled at her.

"Hello" she smiled at the class. "Let's begin"

She began by separating us into alto, soprano, tenor and bass.

She first let us choose our groups and then group by group she tested us. I went to stand with the sopranos and Zoey stood with the altos. It was time for the sopranos and I went up, I was standing in the middle when my turn came. She was looking at the piano and began warm up exercises that were in my range and I hit every note perfectly she then looked up at me and her eyes got wide. Then I saw a flash of sadness but she masked it with a smile, "Great job" she sounded sad.

I simply nodded and went back to my seat. This class ended quickly also.

I only had two classes today so Zoey and I decided to go to my room.

"What was up with Ms. Corcoran?" she asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know, but she looks a lot like me, in a strange sense I feel like I know her" I admitted.

"She looks so much like you its freaky" Zoey added.

I shrugged again; I didn't want to think about that. I opened the door to my room and sat in my desk, Zoey made herself comfortable in my bed.

"Why do you have _this_ much color?" Zoey asked as she fidgeted with my pillows.

She sounded as if color was such a crime.

"I think it brings positive energy" I said with a smile, "Don't you feel it?"

She laughed, "Rachel, the only thing I can feel is how nauseating all this pink is"

I shrugged, "It's different for everybody I guess" then I turned back to my desk and began looking through my Broadway show tune books that my fathers' bought for me.

"So Rachel-"

"_Defying gravity kiss me good bye I'm defying gravity and you won't bring me down"_ I heard my phone ring.

"Excuse me" I grabbed my phone and went into the bathroom.

"Hello" I said calmly.

"Rach?" a doubtful voice said.

"Quinn?" I sounded surprise.

"I'm sorry for calling" she sounded as if tears were welding up in her eyes.

"No it's okay" I said wanting to comfort her.

I heard her begin to sob.

"Hey, Quinn what's wrong?" I said in a very soft and loving voice.

"I miss you" she whispered in between sobs.

I felt my heart break, I felt sad, angry and guilty. Hearing Quinn cry was my nightmare, and hearing her sad makes me sad. I obviously felt guilty because of Zoey and that reminded me, she's in the other room…. Probably listening in.

"I miss you too Quinn" I manage to choke out.

"I'm sorry about Finn" she began controlling her sobs, "You know I don't like him or any boy at that fact. I love you and only you. I don't care for Finn" she said beginning to sound like her usual self.

"It still doesn't take away the hurt" I heard myself say.

"Please let me come visit you" she practically begged.

"Yes" I heard myself say, "Come tomorrow"

"I love you" she squealed, I could picture her smiling. She then begins her cute childish giggles and I couldn't help but smile. I love her.

"I love you too" I said. And with that she hung up. I closed my phone and walked out to see Zoey sitting at the edge of my bed looking directly at the door.

Before I could say anything she whispered, "I know you love Quinn, Rachel. And that's okay. Just know I can give you what she can't"

I began to feel defensive, "And what's that?" I said sounding a lot like Santana.

"A real relationship. One where I don't need to hide you from everyone else!" and with that she walked out, I quickly followed after her.

"You don't know Quinn!" I screeched and slammed the door to my room and leaned against it and began to cry.

I decided to start writing once that happened. Writing always helps me, just like reading helps Quinn. I have to now set everything up for when Quinn comes.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_


	11. Chapter 11

**Now this is the longest chapter, but has some drama and some smut. I apologize for that, thought I'd maybe try it since I don't do that often. Don't worry it's not like your reading a pornographic story, it's very subtle. Starting from here I will add Brittana, and soon I will re-add Puck into the story. I hope you enjoy this chapter! (:**

_Morning_

Today Quinn is coming and I feel a rush of emotions, now not the way I do when I sing. The best way to describe it is, "Seeing the love of your life after being broken up and reunited about 1000 times, after the longest time" type of rush of emotions… if you can relate to that.

I couldn't sleep last night, first off I feel very nervous about seeing Quinn, the other thing was Zoey. But she has to understand I'm in love with Quinn, I'm sure she would, I'm sure she's been in love before… I think...

I decide to go take a shower to sort out my thoughts; once I'm done I hear a knock at the door. My heart begins to race because it could be one of two people: Zoey or Quinn.

"Good Morning Mrs. O' Harris" I say with a sigh of relief.

"What happened yesterday?" she asked quietly. She was very childlike.

"About what, Mrs. O' Harris?" I ask kindly and respectfully.

"Zoey… I was coming up to ask you two if you wanted solos for the dance routine and then I heard screaming and Zoey stormed out" she said cautiously.

"Oh that" my tone sounded like a mix of frustration and sadness. I opened my door wider and motioned her in.

She sat on the chair and I sat on my bed, I decided to grab a cup of water.

"Rachel would you please tell me what happened?" she asked sounding a lot like a therapist.

I turned to her and realized I started shouting, "Want to know what happened? I'm in love.. .That's what happened!"

Mrs. O' Harris looked at me surprised, then smiled, "I know how you feel Rachel"

"How did you meet you r wife?" I asked.

She let out a short sad laugh, "My mom found out I was gay when I was 15 and she sent me to church camp, it was more like a military camp with Jesus pictures everywhere" she looked at her thumbs that were on her lap, "We were forced to bunk with other girls, so we could control ourselves I guess. Anyways, that's where I met her. Being together at first was hard; we had to deny the feelings we had for eachother." She looked up, "I know how you feel"

"How do you know about Quinn?" I asked realizing I hadn't mentioned to her what happened between Quinn and I.

Her eyes went wide as if she's been caught red-handed, "I talked to Zoey this morning" she said avoiding eye contact.

I smiled at her youthfulness.

"How is she?" I whispered.

"She's hurt, but she'll be okay. You know she had a girlfriend before she met you"

I shook my head slowly.

"Yeah" she smiled, "Her name was Santana, she fell in love with her but Santana was clearly in love with someone else" she said sadly.

"Oh Santana?" I asked quietly trying not to make it obvious that I knew who she was.

"Yes, Santana Lopez. They had a summer thing but she then went back to Lima, Ohio" Mrs. O' Harris said with a shrug then lowered her voice, "That break up messed up Zoey. Zoey used to be as ambitious and colorful as you. But now she wears dark clothes and has so much anger in her. But when she dances, she expresses herself and it's beautiful" Mrs. O' Harris smiled. I smiled too.

"I hope I didn't say too much" Mrs. O' Harris said with a gasp.

I giggled and shook my head quickly. "Where is Zoey's room?" I asked.

The last room down the hall, 18B" she smiled and winked as she walked towards the door.

"Bye" I whispered and she walked out.

I began to contemplate on whether I should go talk to Zoey or prepare for Quinn.

That's why I began to write.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_

* * *

_Evening_

I ended up finding myself in front of a door that had "17B" on the top center. I knocked softly.

"Mrs. O' Harris go away" I heard Zoey's muffled voice.

I opened the door slightly then slowly.

"It's me" I whispered.

Zoey was lying across her bed with tear streaked cheeks. I looked down at the rest of her body and realized she was naked and she quickly covered herself with her purple and black lace comforter.

I turned away quickly and felt my cheeks burn.

"What do you want?" she said trying to sound mean, it didn't work very well.

"Mrs. O' Harris told me about Santana" I whispered, "I'm sorry"

"Oh" she scoffed, "Well it doesn't matter she's in love with that blonde Brittany" She said with so much rage in her voice.

Then it finally clicked in my head, the day Santana took me to Quinn's house. She seemed very defensive on Quinn being happy and when she hugged me before we walked in making it obvious she loved somebody but wouldn't say.

"You'll find somebody" I said slowly walking towards her bed.

"No I won't!" she shouted as tears began falling down her face.

I sat next to her and put my hand softly on her cheek, "You will" I said quietly and softly and very motherly like.

She looked up and looked me in the eye, "You really think so?" she whispered.

I nodded with a small smile. I felt her hand come up to my cheek and it slid down behind my neck and she pulled me in to kiss her. At first I was hesitant but she kissed me with such passion it made me go weak, I kissed her back. At first they were slow and passionate and it began to get messy and I let my mind go and let my body react. My hands found her naked body and I began to feel the softness of her skin, it was sweet and silky. I let my hands wander as she did the same to me, I felt her hand brush my inner thigh and I felt goosebumps and I trembled, she smiled into the kiss and began to rub my inner thigh and her hand went slightly higher and higher.

I felt her pleasure me and I gave in, I kissed her neck as she got her way and I began to slightly moan. I let my hands wander into her as well and she began to moan softly. We moaned in unison.

"Santana" she whispered. I pulled back and stared at her.

She opened her eyes wide; "I'm sorry" she began to plea.

I wasn't hurt; I was more baffled by her name confusion. I knew we were doing this to mend our broken hearts. I shrugged, "It's okay, I know you don't love me" I smiled slightly.

She nodded, "I know, same with you" she whispered, "But that was amazing"

I felt my cheeks burn. I felt her hand on my cheek, she made me look at her, "I'm sorry I don't love you, you're an amazing girl" I whispered.

"It's okay, I know you love Quinn" she smiled sadly.

"And I know you love Santana" I whispered.

"So then what is this between us?" she asked.

I shook my head, "I don't know" and I realized, I didn't know what I was doing, Quinn would be here any moment and I'm in the arms of another girl, and to make matters worse, Santana's ex-girlfriend. Not that Santana would care, but I know it would hurt Quinn.

"I have to go" I whispered and got up quickly and walked out of her room and sped walked to my room.

I opened the door and saw the beautiful blonde I was in love with. I quickly walked up to her and hugged her tight.

"I missed you" I whispered.

"Me too" she sobbed slightly.

I then felt a rush of guilt and pulled out of the embrace, "We need to talk" I said quickly and sternly.

"I agree" Quinn nodded.

She sat on my bed and looked at her lap, I wasn't sure if I should go first or her.

I decided to break the silence, "How's Finn?" I asked coldly. I was angry, but I shouldn't be angry, about ten minutes ago I was in bed with another a girl and the wave of guilt slapped me in the face.

"He's fine, but I didn't come here to talk about him" she said coldly back, it was obvious she was challenging me.

"Why did you?" I said sounding a lot more defeated.

"Because of this" she said as she stood up and began to unbutton her red rain coat and revealed herself in only her bra and underwear.

I stared at her wide eyed, "I uh wha- uh?" I stuttered.

She smiled shyly, "Well not that exactly that" she turned and showed me a tattoo she had below her left breast.

It read, "R.B" with a gold star. The calligraphy was in handwriting and it was beautiful.

"You're my star" she smiled.

I looked at her and smiled big, my eyes were obviously filled with joy, "But Quinn?"

"But what? I love you. Point blank period. I'm tired of having everyone tell me what to do" she said sounding a lot like herself.

I looked at her wide eyed and admired her. She was beautiful, strong willed, smart, confident and sexy. She was very sexy I realized I walked closer to her and rubbed my hands on her waist and looked up at her and looked into her beautiful hazel eyes and I felt at home. She leaned down and kissed me. I kissed her back with no questions asked.

She pulled away, "I want you to come home Rachel" she said completely surprising me.

"Quinn since you're here with me, why don't was just enjoy these moments right now?" I asked giving her my Rachel Berry grin that was made specifically for her.

She looked at me and smiled, "You're right Rachel" she kissed me quickly and smiled, "Can I go to class with you?"

As soon as she said that a crazy thought came to mind and I smiled huge, "Come with me to choir! We could perform a song together!" I said jumping up and down feeling like my Rachel Berry self.

She smiled back, "You're right"

"Just let me get changed and we'll start working on a song and then I'll take you with me to dance class" I smiled and ran into my bathroom.

I changed my underwear and washed my face and quickly did my make-up and hair and walked out. I noticed Quinn was now wearing a cute little white dress with a pastel pink cardigan. She always looked amazing.

She wore her long blonde hair down and had a pin of a gold star clipping back her bangs.

"Let's get started" I said clasping my hands together and smiling.

"Let's" she said with a smile that matched mine.

We began rehearsing and time flew, I needed to rush to my first class. Quinn decided to stay in my room and freshen up.

I was very giddy for my second day in class. Mrs. O' Harris took one glance at me and smiled, "So I see you fixed things with Zoey?"

My smile slightly faded as I remembered exactly what happened between Zoey and I. "Yes we did, we're only friends" I smiled.

"That's great to hear, but don't expect us all to go all kumbaya and shit" Sasha said as she walked past me into the class.

"I see you're still trying to be me little bitch" I heard a very familiar voice say.

I looked at Sasha's face as she turned pale, "Santana" she whispered.

My head whipped quickly around, and there she was standing in the doorway holding a nail file and wearing a very flattering top with tights.

I'm not sure what my facial expression looked like but she scoffed, "Don't look so surprised hobbit. Q never travels alone. Plus my little unicorn is here" she said finishing with a smile.

I then began to remember yesterday and realized Brittany was in this class yesterday.

Mrs. O' Harris walked quickly towards Santana.

"Oh what's up Emily" she looked at Mrs. O' Harris. I turned to see Mrs. O' Harris stunned face.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered.

"Visiting Brittany, just like Quinn came to visit the hobbit, although I don't know why" she said as she rolled her eyes and shrugged. "So where's my Britt-britt?"

"Sanny I'm right here!" I heard Brittany squeal and Santana ran towards her and hugged her tight.

"Quinn is here?" Mrs. O' Harris asked very seriously. A tone I haven't heard before.

I nodded.

"Does Zoey know?" she whispered.

"I-uh-no" I stuttered.

"Tell her before she comes in" Mrs. O' Harris said pointing at the door. I looked at the doorway and saw Zoey walking calmly listening to her ipod and walked into the classroom, she looked up at our direction and greeted us with a smile. She read our facial expressions-which read terror and fear- and looked around the room and quickly spotted Santana. I could visibly see her heart sink, her skin went pale white and her eyes began to get red. She ran out of the room.

"Was that Zoey?" I heard Brittany ask in her very innocent voice.

"Yeah" Santana said looking at the doorway, "Give me minute Britt" she said as walked towards the door and chased after Zoey.

Class began immediately. Mrs. O' Harris… or Emily as Santana called her asked me to fill in Zoey's spot. The whole class passed and Zoey and Santana were nowhere to be seen, I walked quickly to my room to question Quinn about Santana coming. I opened my door and saw Quinn curled up in a ball on my bed, she was obviously crying. I heard the door slam, "There you are shrimp" I heard Santana say with so much anger.

"What's going on?" I looked down not wanting to look at them

"Don't play dumb tiny. I know about Zoey" she scoffed.

"Is it.. is it.. true?" I heard Quinn stutter very quietly.

I felt tears weld up, "Yes" I whispered.

"Shit" Santana mumbled sounding surprised, "I didn't know you were capable of that"

"Quinn you're with Finn" I said.

"I know, I know" she whispered.

"Shit Q just tell her!" Santana yelled.

"What?" I asked.

I looked to Quinn then Santana, neither girl said anything.

"What?" I asked again suddenly feeling dizzy.

"Shit Q!" she yelled, "She fucked Puckerman!"

I felt like the air was knocked out of me, "Really?"

Quinn nodded. I was now very confuse, not only was Quinn dating Finn, but she had sex with Noah (AGAIN!) and said she's in love with me.

"Santana please get out" I looked at her, "I need to talk to her alone" I said coldly.

"Hell no, don't think I'll leave Q alo-"

"NOW!" I shouted as I interrupted her.

"Shit hobbit" she said as she grabbed the door knob and walked out. I quickly went to next to Quinn and grabbed her and leaned my face in and kissed her. I kissed her with every ounce of me, and she accepted it. She opened her arms and pulled me in. I wanted to tell her I love her and that I would never want to leave her side in that kiss. I pulled away and looked at her, I really looked at her.

Her eyes bore a lost soul, but I loved her and I wanted to help guide her.

"Quinn I love you" I started, "I would never hate you, I would never hurt you. And if I do I'm sorry but no matter what I do, it will never change the fact that I love you. You are my one and only and that's the way I plan for it to stay" I said sounding confident.

Quinn's eyes got wide and she looked into my eyes looking for truth and that is exactly what she would find. She pulled me in and kissed me.

"I love you too" she said as she pulled away.

"Why don't we go sing our duet now?" I said with a smile.

"Let's" she smiled.

She composed herself and stood like her confident self and walked next to me. The way we walked reminded me of my dream. She held my hand proudly as we walked down the hall and received stares from multiple girls, but it was obvious she didn't care. In that moment it was just me and Quinn. Always.

We walked into my choir class, I approached Mr. Thomas, "I have a visitor today and I was wondering if we could sing a song we've been working on" I smiled.

"Why would I ever deny talent" he smiled, "The stage is yours"

"Thank you" I smiled.

I walked to Quinn and kissed her on the cheek and nodded to let her know we're ready. I looked around the classroom and I couldn't find Zoey, I made a mental note to go talk to her.

"Hello fellow classmates, I have an amazing girl from my hometown visiting me and we have a treat for you" I smiled. Everyone clapped and the music began.

Quinn began:

_Don't go breaking my heart_

**I couldn't if I tried**

The music began and Quinn and I sang looking deep into each other's eyes. Anyone around us could feel the love radiating from us.

We hit each note perfectly and we had fun. We finished and smiled at eachother.

"Fantastic" Mr. Thomas said as he clapped.

Everyone else clapped and Quinn and I curtsied.

"Is it okay if she sits in during the class?" I asked.

Mr. Thomas looked at Quinn, "You're talented, why didn't you audition for this camp?" he asked.

Quinn shrugged, "Well if you still want to, you're welcome in my class" Mr. Thomas said smiling at Quinn.

Quinn smiled, "Thank you"

This class went by perfectly and Quinn and I returned to our…my room. Quinn went in and I followed, "Quinn, I need to go talk to Zoey… I'll be back okay?" I said sounding as sweet as I can.

"It's okay, babe do what you need to do" and she kissed me softly and sat on my bed.

I walked to Zoey's room and I heard another voice in there with her. I opened the door slightly and saw Santana and Brittany with Zoey. They were first sitting on Zoey's bed giggling and then Brittany sat on Zoey's lap and began to kiss her, I closed the door as quickly and softly as I could and ran to my room.

I barged into my room and began ranting on to Quinn about what I just saw. Quinn smiled and her cheeks flushed red.

"What?" I asked noticing her sneaky grin.

"That's hot" she smiled.

I felt my cheeks get warm and realized it was.

"I told you" Quinn whispered in a husky voice and walked towards me.

She began to kiss me and began joking.

"Picture Santana and Zoey on top of eachother all-"

"Quit it Quinn Fabray!" I squealed.

"Once you use my whole name I know to stop" she giggled.

"Can we just cuddle and talk later?" I begged in my sweet voice.

"Sure" Quinn said as she pulled me onto the bed.

We were embraced in each other's arms and Quinn drifted off to sleep.

I moved my way around her arms and decided to begin writing. I think Quinn should stay here with me. I hope she decides to.

Anyways my eyes are falling heavy and I need to go to sleep. Until tomorrow.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_


	12. Please READ!

**Hello, my dear followers. I am very saddened to inform you but I cannot continue this story. My new school year has taken up all my time, and I can't find anytime to continue writing. My story will not exactly end here, I do have many other ideas I would enjoy to express which I will do at another time. Currently I will mark this story as 'in-progress' because it is not complete, but it will take some time to update with the new chapter. I also apologize if you do not enjoy my story, and it is okay everyone has their own opinions. I do realize my story is slightly scattered and story lines do not get completed but this was done purposely. I understand (also) as a writer you shouldn't apologize or necessarily care what others think, but if you are going to take time out of your life to read my story, I would hate to disappoint. With that said, I really hope you guys will stick with me until I find time to write/post the next chapter.  
**

**Again, I am very sorry for this. And another quick note, if you have some ideas on how you want this story to continue, send me a message or if you'd like just leave a review with your idea. I will not exactly neglect this website I will check in occasionally, so don't expect me to disappear. **

**Bye,**

**Faberryyum**


	13. Chapter 13

__**I am aware of the last chapter I posted, but I have decided to make this the last chapter. I apologize for cutting this one short as well as "No Matter What" but I will continue. I actually began writing new chapters and stayed up all weekend typing them into my computer, the story will continue where it left off it just won't be a diary anymore. Finn is included in this story too, once you read this chapter you'll understand why. Regardless hope you stay tuned for the new story. And again I apologize for cutting it short. **

_Morning_

I woke up to Quinn's warm embraced and I felt whole. Quinn and I could never be over. I was okay with that, life without Quinn is no life at all.

I had a dream last night, Quinn and I were on the beach where we first kissed, but were there in the present time. I knew that because she had her tattoo, we laid in the sand. Quinn was reading and I was listening to my music, we were then approached by Santana and Brittany and all four of us sat in the sand and laughed and smiled and Santana's eyes actually gleamed with happiness. We than all hopped into Quinn's car and went to my house and my fathers' for some reason were singing and cooking and dancing and greeted us with a feast. We all then broke into song and sat down to eat.

My dream was obviously strange, but I loved it. It reminded me of the innocence of Disney princess films.

I silently got up off my bed and went for a run, I decided to run 2 miles, I came back and Quinn was still asleep so I took a shower. When I got out of the bathroom my bed was made and Quinn was nowhere to be found. I decided to quickly change and find a cute outfit to wear for Quinn. I changed and sat at my desk and began to look through my books realizing I haven't used them. I began to read the music for "Defying Gravity" and decided to start singing.

I got up off the seat and stood on my bed and sang, I imagined myself on stage on Broadway playing Elphi and getting a standing ovation when I am done.

I finished the song and I heard slight clapping and I turned to see Quinn holding two muffins and two starbucks to-go cups.

I smiled at her and jumped off my bed and kissed her softly and took one of the cups.

"You're amazing you know that right?" I smiled

"Maybe" she winked.

"I was wondering, would you want to stay here?" I ask.

"I don't want to" she smiled, "I am going to stay here"

My smile grew about 10 times bigger I began to jump up and down squealing "Yay!"

Quinn laughed as she watched me, "Eat your muffin" she giggled.

"It's vegan right?" I asked smiling.

"Rach, do you even need to ask?" she pretended to roll her eyes.

"Noooooo" I extended the "oohhh" and pouted.

Quinn laughed and took a small bite of her muffin. I took a sip of the coffee she bought me and could clearly taste the soy milk with fresh coffee beans with a tiny bit of vegan chocolate. Now this combination may sound strange but this is my favorite drink.

Quinn is in the shower now so I decided to write but I need to leave to my first class so I guess I'll leave her a note.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry*_

* * *

_Evening_

I went to dance class after leaving a note for Quinn and Zoey walked in with Santana and Brittany. All three of them had a fresh new glow to them and I watched them closely and saw that all three of them were holding one another pinkies. Santana hugged Brittany good bye and kissed Zoey good bye. The kiss was highly inappropriate for the public. I noticed Zoey looked like she was on cloud 9, but I don't trust Santana. Zoey is very sensitive and things break her easily, once Santana leaves I'm not sure what would happen to her.

I approach her cautiously.

"How are you Zoey?" I asked shyly.

She looked at me surprised, "You're not mad at me?"

I shook my head, "I wouldn't have a reason to. You just told the truth" I shrugged and smiled.

"Okay good, but either way you know I'm sorry right?" she said slowly.

"Yes, I know"

She nodded.

"What's going on with Santana?" I asked before my mind could tell my mouth to stop moving.

"We're back together"

I had to find my inner actress skills so I won't yell at her for her idiocy and stupidity but I then realized, I accepted Quinn open armed with no questions asked.

"Great" I managed to say with a fake smile and walked away.

"Okay class" Mrs. O' Harris began, "I have bad news" she didn't sound so perky.

"We were welcoming a new member to our staff but she just recently quit. If you have Mr. Thomas you may know her as Ms. Corcoran. She will no longer be working with us" she sounded sad.

I simply shrugged, it was sad that she quit but I'm sure she had her reasons.

"Anyways on lighter news I have a small presentation" she smiled, "C'mon in Jesse!" she smiled even wider.

The boy I saw my first day with the thick brown curls came walking in with a confident stride. I giggled to myself thinking that Quinn could easily slice him up with her tongue; I realized how strange that sounded and quickly shook it out of my mind.

Music began and Mrs. O' Harris began dancing and Jesse danced with her, it was beautiful. I watched in awe, I'm sure my mouth was open but they were amazing. They were very graceful, confident, and they radiated emotions.

I clapped as soon as they were done; I didn't realize I was the only one until I head Brittany whisper, "Why are you clapping? It bruises your hands."

I smiled at her, "That was beautiful" I whispered back.

Brittany shrugged, "I'm better"

"I want to pick two soloist this year, I decided on Rachel and Zoey" Mrs. O' Harris spoke with a big smile.

I looked around the room and saw girls clapping and smiling and Sasha shot me the death glare and stormed out of the room, it was obvious to me she would do anything to be on top. I had to keep my eye on her.

"Congrats Rachel" I heard Brittany whisper as she gave me a quick hug.

"Thank you" I smiled.

"Let us begin!" Mrs. O' Harris shouted, "Rachel, Zoey front and center"

Mrs. O' Harris worked us very hard, and I thank her for that, now my sore muscles… they are most definitely not thankful.

I limped to my room and see Quinn is nowhere to be found, she left a not right above my night.

_Rachel, I have my first class during your break, see you after choir! I love you_

I smiled, but my smile faded when I felt the soreness all over my legs and back. I went into my bathroom and found an icy hot.

"Rachel" I heard Brittany say on the opposite side of the door.

"Come in" I smiled.

She opened the door and ran into my arms, she'd been crying.

"Sanny doesn't love me anymore" she said between her sobs.

"No, what makes you think that?" I hugged her tight.

"She chose Zoey over me." She sobbed even louder, "I want Lord Tubbington; he always knows what to do"

I pulled her onto my bed and cradled her like a child. "Quinn will be coming in any minute okay, she has a break while I'm in class."

"I need my Quinny bear" she sobbed silently.

I smiled at her nickname for Quinn.

Just then Quinn walked in, Brittany stood up and reached her arms out like a child for Quinn to hold her. Quinn quickly grabbed her and cradled her as I was.

I gave Quinn a quick kiss and ran to my next class.

I rushed in just in time, Mr. Thomas barely noticed my late entrance he was on his phone arguing.

I quickly sat down and asked the girl next to me what was going on. She shrugged and assumed it was about Ms. Corcoran.

He hung up the phone and quickly got the class started. It was obvious he was very upset.

I decided to just listen to him and not critique occasionally to his teaching skills. Not that I do, he is an amazing teacher, it's the singers that don't compare to him.

I was hoping the class would go by quickly so I can run and check on Brittany and Quinn. To my surprise this class went awfully slow. Most of today's class was of Mr. Thomas lecturing the tenors saying they need to clean up their act, etc.

Finally his class was over and I ran to my room.

I found Quinn sitting on my bed all alone.

"Where's Brittany?" I asked.

Quinn shrugged, "Santana came in and took her" she had a strange tone to her voice. "Did I hurt you like that?" she asked sounding guarded.

I was very surprised by her question, I had to take a quick breath, I wanted to tell her the truth, but I didn't want to hurt her.

I nodded slowly and looked at the ground.

"Then why are you with me?" she asked sounding very careful.

"Because I love you Quinn Fabray. Being without you hurts more than anything else." I said honestly.

"Why wouldn't you hate me?" she asked.

I shrugged, "I always saw the good in you"

"Rachel, I laughed at you. Made fun of you, dated other people. How can you not hate me?" she sounded mad, but I know it wasn't directed towards me, "If the roles were reversed I wouldn't have given you another chance."

"I know" I shrugged.

"Then why?"

"Quinn, I told you. I love you, yes you hurt me. But I can't help loving you" I smiled a bit.

"I'm still with Finn" Quinn admitted.

"Wha-wha-what?" I stuttered.

"I'm still with Finn, and I fucked Puckerman and I'm now with you" she sounded like she was talking to herself, she began pacing around my room, "Finn doesn't deserve me" she whispered.

"Why does he matter?" I felt anger rush through me.

She looked up wide-eyed as if she's been caught red handed, "I uh I didn't say anything"

"Quinn please be honest with me, do you care for Finn?" I asked sounding stern.

She began shaking her head wildly and whispered "No, no, no, no"

"Quinn please be honest" I said as I walked up to her and rubbed her shoulders.

"Yes" she sobbed.

I shook my head wildly and pulled away from her.

"Rachel, please"

"Quinn I love you, I love you so much it hurts. Please don't take advantage of it" I whispered.

"I…" she whispered unsure of what to say.

I gulped and began to compose myself I then looked up and faced with her, with a (now) calmer tone I told her, "Quinn, I know you love me. I can see it in your eyes. But I'm going to give you a chance to pick between me and whoever else you may think you care about"

She opened her mouth as if to speak but I put my hand up to stop her, "You don't have to pick now, but when you make your decision please just tell me" I finished sounding breathless.

"I ruined our perfect day didn't I?" she said sadly.

"Already forgotten" I said with a strange tone. It wasn't really forgotten, but being with Quinn was too perfect, I didn't want to ruin it. Not that I did, just we've been apart for so long, I want her back.

"Ooookkkaaayyy" Quinn said in a whispering tone.

"We have the whole afternoon, let's go do something?" I asked wanting to forget what happened.

Quinn nodded, she looked very sad. We exited my room and went into Mr. Thomas' room. I felt safe there for some reason. I sat at the piano, I looked at the keys and thought of the first song that could express how I felt right now.

Nothing came to mind, NOTHING! Am I really this hurt? I can't think clearly.

I begin to shake my head wildly staring down at the keys, I then feel a hand on my shoulder.

"I choose you Rachel" Quinn whispered, "I choose you" she said sounding more and more confident.

I turned and looked at her, I saw her hazel eyes and I looked deep, she was right. I jumped and squealed and wrapped my arms around her neck, "I love you Quinn Fabray!" I kissed her passionately.

I heard someone clear their throat we turn away and Finn is standing there with his hands in his pocket.

"I-Finn?" Quinn whispered.

"Quinn, it's okay. You deserve to be happy" he smiled sadly.

I was surprised that he had given her up so easily. I couldn't help but ask "Why?"

I was surprised that I had said it out loud but Finn answered.

"I know how Quinn feels. You meet this special girl and even though things are tough, you just love eachother, you know?" he shrugged shyly.

I smiled at him, "Thank you."

Quinn walked towards him slowly and gently put her hand on his cheek and looked at him, "Thank you" she whispered and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll help you guys" he said.

I raised my eyebrow at him, "I'll help Quinn lie to her parents and pretend to date her." He said sounding like he just invented fire.

* * *

We began to discuss things and decided to go eat, I'm back in my room now and Quinn is fast asleep. My eyes are slowly closing so I'll write soon.

_-Rachel Barbra Berry *_


End file.
